
When I first came into recovery and I heard it shared that we as alcoholics/addicts have a “built in forgetter” I was very confused.
Fresh out of rehab and attending meetings the bruises on my face were healing but my insides were extremely uncomfortable. I thought it ridiculous that I would EVER FORGET the pain and angst I caused myself and my poor son.
Well, at about 6 months clean I was driving to my sponsors house and I saw on the side of the road a half (empty/full) bottle of wine. My brain told me to pull over get it and drink it.
I kept driving but I actually entertained the thought.
In that moment…I forgot. I forgot where that drink or any other substance would lead me to.
Funny thing is that I had money in my pocket. I could have pulled into any bar or liquor store and bought something that was clean and pretty. But that is not how this disease works.
This disease wants me on the side of the road drinking out of a filthy bottle.
This is another reason why I stay close to others in recovery.
We share with each other to help one another survive.
It’s like we are all living in a mine field and if I find one I will tell you all about it in the hopes you don’t step on the same one.
But if you do happen to step on the same bomb then we can find a way to heal together. And then WE share with the others about the bomb that We stepped on and how We survived it.
It’s sharing our experience and strength with the hope that we all can connect to god and heal.