A LETTER FROM EINSTEIN 12/3

A letter from Albert Einstein to his daughter, Lieserl on The Universal Force of Love

“When I proposed the theory of relativity, very few understood me, and what I will reveal now to transmit to mankind will also collide with the misunderstanding and prejudice in the world.

I ask you to guard the letters as long as necessary, years, decades, until society is advanced enough to accept what I will explain below.

There is an extremely powerful force that, so far, science has not found a formal explanation to. It is a force that includes and governs all others, and is even behind any phenomenon operating in the universe and has not yet been identified by us. This universal force is LOVE.

When scientists looked for a unified theory of the universe they forgot the most powerful unseen force. Love is Light, that enlightens those who give and receive it. Love is gravity, because it makes some people feel attracted to others. Love is power, because it multiplies the best we have, and allows humanity not to be extinguished in their blind selfishness. Love unfolds and reveals. For love we live and die. Love is God and God is Love.

This force explains everything and gives meaning to life. This is the variable that we have ignored for too long, maybe because we are afraid of love because it is the only energy in the universe that man has not learned to drive at will.

To give visibility to love, I made a simple substitution in my most famous equation. If instead of E = mc2, we accept that the energy to heal the world can be obtained through love multiplied by the speed of light squared, we arrive at the conclusion that love is the most powerful force there is, because it has no limits.

After the failure of humanity in the use and control of the other forces of the universe that have turned against us, it is urgent that we nourish ourselves with another kind of energy…

If we want our species to survive, if we are to find meaning in life, if we want to save the world and every sentient being that inhabits it, love is the one and only answer.

Perhaps we are not yet ready to make a bomb of love, a device powerful enough to entirely destroy the hate, selfishness and greed that devastate the planet.

However, each individual carries within them a small but powerful generator of love whose energy is waiting to be released.

When we learn to give and receive this universal energy, dear Lieserl, we will have affirmed that love conquers all, is able to transcend everything and anything, because love is the quintessence of life.

I deeply regret not having been able to express what is in my heart, which has quietly beaten for you all my life. Maybe it’s too late to apologize, but as time is relative, I need to tell you that I love you and thanks to you I have reached the ultimate answer!“.

Your father,
Albert Einstein
— Published on July 14, 2019

Learning to cry 12/2

Imagine being numb from almost every emotion for almost 20 years and then all of a sudden…BAM – there they all are. Sadness, grief, guilt, shame, loss, fear, uncertainty, certainty, clarity, kindness, compassion, joy, laughter and love.

Coming into recovery is like being re-born on this earth. Painfully beautiful.

I remember my first sober cry. I was in rehab and I have no idea what was wrong but the tears started to well up in my eyes.

The counselor who was there saw that I was fighting the tears and not letting myself feel that moment.

She gently came over to me and walked me to the door of my room. She told me “it’s ok to cry.” She told me to put my head on my bed and just let it out.

I did. I cried for real. By myself to feel and release whatever was coming through me at that moment.

What a concept – “It’s ok to cry.”

Such beauty in the mess 12/1

I was listening to a lecture given by Carl Jung and read by Alan Watts. The title of the lecture was ‘Ending Your Inner Civil War’.

I love anything that has to do with minimizing my inner turmoil so this I took a great interest in.

What Jung referred to as key components in healing ourselves were acceptance and non judgment. He states once you discover that “ALL” of the states of mankind are also within you, then begins the acceptance of yourself and others and the healing process.

I have experienced this first hand in the rooms of recovery. It is said miracles happen there because they do.

Wealthy housewives seeing themselves in the beggar on the street.

When you walk into a meeting for one hour you can drop the outside world completely and just come as you are. The identities of who and where you came from are Anonymous. Meaning it does not matter.

I came in those doors ashamed and guilty for my misgivings. Others walk through the same way. No matter what the crime or mistake it is all the same.

The grace of god brings us together. Some stay and some do not. But for that 1 hour we are safe and provide a place to heal.

Such beauty in the perceived mess.

Things I take for granted 11/30

Last night all of a sudden something happened to my vision. There were prisms of color in my eyes. There was no pain, but then I started to feel dizzy.

If I was still using drugs and in active addiction this would have been the exact effect I would have loved and sought after.

So, I looked through my prism lenses and Googled. I found that it might be what is referred to as a Kaleidoscope Migraine.

Thank god it only lasted maybe an hour, but then I could not find words to communicate to my sons Uber driver via text. My mind was not mine. I forgot complete words and I was struggling to communicate simple directions.

After my panic…I researched a bit and I found that a type of “mind fog” can also occur during and after the migraine episode.

I started then to see just how many things I take for granted.

Clear vision and a clear mind are something that I rarely give thanks for, but today it’s at the top of the list.

I ran a marathon to control my drinking 11/29

When I look back at all of the ways that I tried to control my consumption of alcohol it baffles me.

They say the disease of addiction is cunning and baffeling and I can definitely attest to that.

When I was in my early 20’s I remember noticing that I had started drinking every day. I lived in a party college town with lots of partying young people. I had a job at the local Steakhouse and Saloon where they served 10cent chicken wings with huge pitchers of beer every Monday night. It was an ideal breeding ground for my alcoholism.

I decided I would motivate myself somehow and running the Boston Marathon seemed like a good idea. Oh, I also smoked cigarettes at the time as well.

I found a 3 month training schedule online and I followed what it said to a tee. Long runs on Sundays a cross train on Saturdays and all different amounts of mileage throughout the week.

Funny thing is I still drank every day. Even after all of that training and hard work I EARNED a beer or two at the end of the day.

And if I had more than a few beers and got completely wasted….I would just run the next day and sweat it all out.

I did complete the Boston Marathon and it was a tremendous experience.

But my reasoning behind it…honestly…. was to try and control my disease.

A lovely way to think 11/28

When I saw this today a stream of good energy just hit me. I really don’t know how to describe it except that I want to remember this thought all day everyday.

This thought of walking one another home ignited some type of reverence for all of the lives that I encounter.

It makes me want to be a softer, more gentle being with everyone and everything.

When I view myself as a part of someone’s journey home it fills me with a feeling of purpose and makes the now feel awfully special.

Thank you.

The BEST DAY 11/27

Today I am doing absolutely nothing!!! YAYYY!!

It is the day after a holiday, plenty of food in the house.

I am going nowhere. I have made plans with no one.

No meeting (maybe a zoom from my couch).

Its rainy out – perfect!

I am not working. I am not driving my son anywhere.

I have no plans for house work or any other thing that consists of moving to much.

Today is for me.

To relax, to replenish.

To connect to the content vibration within.

Whatever and Enough 11/26

The most simple way to pray (and pretty amusing )that I have ever heard came from a man in recovery named Earle.

Earle’s recovery sponsor told him when you wake up in the morning to throw your hands up and say “Whatever”.

Then at the end of the day before falling asleep he was to put his hands up and say “Enough”.

I found this to be ingenious. First for the simplicity. The “whatever” is a small simple statement of turning your will over to something greater than you. A beautiful act of surrender and trust.

And the “enough” is the declaration that your experiencing is hopefully done for the day.

Then came the day when Earle was having a horribly rough day. He describes the compulsion and obsession to drink had hit him by 11am. He did not think he was going to make it through the day.

He called his sponsor. His sponsor at that moment taught him the art of starting his day over.

The sponsor instructed him to say “enough”. Take a few breathes ….start over and say “whatever.”

As simple as this is, starting my day over has saved my ass more times than I can count.

Enough. 😉

Gift Of Desperation 11/25

It just hit me last night that the gift of desperation is an acronym for GOD. I am sure that it has been said or pointed out in recovery meetings everywhere – I just never heard it until yesterday.

This “gift of desperation” means I was prompted to truly surrender. God’s grace allowed me to see the pain and destruction I was causing.

I was desperate enough to let something else take over and help.

The most accurate display of this I have ever seen was portrayed by Denzel Washington in the movie Flight. Denzel is an alcoholic/drug addict who was under the influence while flying a plane that crashed and lives were lost.

After trying so hard for years to hide what he truly was his gift of desperation occurred in a court room. He was asked the question “Do you have a problem with alcohol?”

Before he spoke – truth welled up in his being and he whispers “God help me.”

And then..he surrendered and was set free.

He went to prison but he was more free than he had ever been.

I was ok Until….11/24

The more I share my experience with others in recovery and on this platform, the more I seem to be uncovering the truth about myself.

I am learning the “why” behind my use of drugs and alcohol.

The bottom line was a deep rooted feeling of unworthiness.

How did this happen? I was not born feeling unworthy. I remember feeling invincible as a child.

Until…someone told me I was not. Until the first rotten kid in the neighborhood told me I was dumb or unattractive. Until the first well meaning teacher told me “you should know that already” and of course I did not. There are a zillion examples of the unkind things that are thrown at our innocence, these are just a few.

The trouble was NOT that these others said these things or acted unkindly. The trouble was that I BELIEVED THEM.

You can call me a giraffe today it does not mean that I am one.

So then as I grew into teenage and adulthood I started to value the others opinions of me more than I valued my own. Why – well I felt unworthy.

That deep rooted feeling made me do things that I did not REALLY want to do.

Until…I could take no more and I used the substances to get out of me because I could not stand the lie that I was unworthy any longer.

In recovery today…I recover and discover this worthiness that was once lost. It was always there…I just had to rediscover it. Thank you god.