The addict mind-6/2/21

Stand guard at the door of your mind”

Maybe all minds are this way, but I did not learn until I came into recovery…that my mind is an asshole:) Do you believe everything your mind tells you? I certainly used to. I also thought just because I wanted something that I was supposed to have it. Therefore, when I wanted to drink I would just do it. When I wanted to drive to the liquor store while my son slept in his crib – then I would just do that too.

When you are in active addiction your mind is obviously clouded with all sorts of chemical nastiness. But what happens when we get clean and there are no substances to blame but we are still left with a diseased up, fearful, hypocritical, unkind noise between our ears?? I was shocked to learn in recovery that my “thinking” and “perception” needed constant monitoring and altering. I needed to tune my brain to channels that made my spirit sing.

I learned that my mind was unreliable…it changed constantly. It told me to do something and then made me feel horrible for doing it. It allowed suspicion and mistrust as a daily dialogue and it had me drawing conclusions and making assumptions about people, places and things that simply were not true. Once I actually watched my brain in action….I was ready to be open to changing it.

As an addict I am always seeking relief…and this relief I was ultimately seeking was from my mind. Over time I have learned how to quiet my brain a bit and if that doesn’t work then I can simply ignore thoughts by replacing them with completely different ones. Change the subject.

I have learned to listen to the “feeling” in my gut. This is a powerful tool. I can’t feel what is in your “gut” only YOU can. That is why it is our own personal power. We get to decide what feels right to us. I have kicked myself numerous times for listening to the “peanut gallery” rather than my gut. But as with anything I learned how valuable my intuition and my feelings are and should be listened to.

Bottom line – your mind chatters…your spirit and intuition feels. And sometimes the mind and spirit are in perfect harmony and that is just heaven on earth! Happy day !!

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

4 thoughts on “The addict mind-6/2/21

    1. Hiiiiii!!! I sent you a reply but for some reason it did not go through.
      I never take it lightly especially when someone is up in the wee hours and is moved or drawn to something. I know the pull – its very special and powerful.
      I also read your dark night post and I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to hear another human – understand free will and actually revel in the storms that we have to pass through to be touched by gods grace. Not an easy journey – I nearly died and it sounds like you did too. However, you get it! It is soooo worth it. I tried to leave you a message on your site but could not. So nice to connect with you Dwight! My new gracious friend 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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