I owe my days clean to a higher power and the people in recovery who guided me into finding this god of my OWN understanding. Not their understanding…but mine.
It is known in recovery that you cannot stop using drugs and alcohol on your own. We try to stop, it is crazy to others that we can’t or they think that we just won’t. Truly I am here to clarify we cannot stop on our own accord. Some greater higher power has got to be let in and sought after for help. That is what is soooo amazing about this disease. If I don’t turn to god – I’m dead.
There needs to be some type of surrender or turning your will over to a higher power. You can call it god you can call it a source, a force of energy – you can call it whatever you want but it is suggested that you call on it everyday.
I read in an article when I was in rehab the quote that saved my life: “I have a disease that has a spiritual solution.” As foggy as I was I knew in that moment the reason why I ended up there, the reason why I was an addict had something to do with GOD. Crazy! It’s not a “religious” solution its a spiritual solution. And the journey to get in touch with that God began.
These are a few places I find god:
I saw god in a puppy named Luna the other day on my morning walk. This tiny havanese brown and white pup just poured love all over me like I can’t even explain. That’s god.
I saw god this winter while outside after it snowed; the deer tracks were fresh, the air was indescribable and the silence was not silence. That’s god.
I was at a recovery meeting last night, a teenage boy was dope sick – he was sweating and pale, thin as thin can be. His dad was a speaker at the meeting. They gave each other a look across the room, a nod in which they checked in with each other. That’s god.
I don’t want to drink or use a drug today. That’s god.