Religious Guilt and Recovery 10/13

I grew up in a VERY Catholic family. I went to Catholic school with the nuns and priests.

At one point my mom and dad were both Eucharistic Ministers, both of my older brothers were altar boys and I at the young age of 10, was a lector.

What I gathered in that upbringing was that god was a judge. He would let me through the gates to heaven only if I behaved a certain way.

If I misbehaved “enough” I was going to hell.

I was taught to live in fear on so many levels. Can’t make a mistake or I am going to hell and I will be shaking hands with Beelzebub himself.

Coming into recovery I became free. The others were practicing spiritual principles and not religious rules. I could eat meat on a Friday during lent and nobody cared!

I was free to develop my own understanding of God – it is a beautiful thing.

It has taken time…years to undo all of the previous mental conditioning.

But today…..

GOD to me is pure energy that is the source of life. It is in everyone and everything.

It does not judge or discriminate. It creates and continues to create. It is inside of my “shell” my human body and is the eternal part of me.

I find these beliefs (right or not) right for me…they are far more pleasant than what I was taught.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

12 thoughts on “Religious Guilt and Recovery 10/13

  1. I think part of growing up is looking at your parents critically and objectively, and then deciding if thats how you want to be.
    My parents only stayed together for appearances sake, and in reality they barely spoke to each other
    It was hard growing up in that environment because there weren’t any positive role models around. It took some years to sort it all out, because you learn bad stuff off your parents without realising it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Religion is like a “code of good practice” and not like a book full with restrictions (thats what men made from it)
    Belief is something personal that you have to fill in for yourself. For me I find religion and belief in nature.

    Liked by 2 people

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