Everyone knew but me 10/16

I am often reminded of my past life in active addiction. I don’t get stuck there, but I certainly remember when…

Today I was thinking about how everyone knew I had issues with drugs/booze except for me.

My husband at the time, my “friends”, my family, my sons school teachers, my neighbors….everyone knew but me.

This fascinates me because my mind was so sick, that even if you said it to my face “Danielle your an addict and you need help.” I would not have believed you.

I would have thought you were the messed up one. My pills and booze were keeping me together.

The miracle occurred for me when the LOVE for my boy was greater than this disease. The Grace of God was in my heart and allowed me to say – that’s enough.

It is a miracle for any one of us to even realize that we are sick.

And then – to find god in one another and in this world that was once so unacceptable.….Beautiful.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

12 thoughts on “Everyone knew but me 10/16

  1. Dear lady, that is exactly how it is supposed to happen. We are blind to our fears simply because as they are building in our childhood we know no other way to deal with those many emotionally painful things so we do the only option available to us…we block, emotionally and physically and don’t want to look at it. Hating those things that come up in our lives and hurt in that same way, and to protect us we defend by pointing the finger at everyone other than ourselves (we’re already in a lot of pain, we don’t want to be shown more). It is a very natural thing to do…but…it eventually becomes too much, as you so well know, so we eventually have to look deeper, feel its pain truly by looking back to that depth so we can understand why, and in doing so finally set ourselves free. Once we understand ‘anything’ it no longer hassles us, it is accepted for what it is. Like a new relationship in the beginning we are so nervous and always on guard so we don’t make a mistake, but as we get to know them it becomes easier and easier, understanding who they are and relaxing into what it means to us. Look and see why ‘we’ hurt is the opening to that inner treasure, understand it and you are totally, finally free ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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