The burning desire 11/21

Today was a very eye opening day for me. I had an unfortunate incident where someone that I was spending time with revealed to me they are not someone with whom I wish to continue spending anymore time with.

I think I already knew that it was not right…but of course I wait for something to hit me directly in the gut before I move.

So typically when something saddens me I go onto a meeting. God’s “timely grace” always reveals itself.

If you have never attended a recovery meeting there is something called “the burning desire.”

The last 5-10 minutes of the meeting are held for the addict who wants to use, is feeling homicidal or suicidal. It is for the addict who is suffering in that moment.

A woman named Sam took the burning desire and shared about the loss of her daughter to suicide and her current actively dying best friend. She felt horribly guilty because although she has not smoked crack in 11 years she is currently smoking pot.

My heart bleeds and I wish for her and everyone true freedom. My tiny tic tac size problems disappear.

Why – because I am out of self and loving another, unconditionally.


Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

16 thoughts on “The burning desire 11/21

  1. You are inspiring to me. Gifted in writing and heart. You yield hope on a platter. My sister is a recovering drug addict. Your posts are like a hug that she can be alive again. God helps so much too. Thank you for sharing❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i ve been to those meetings
    i m glad they work for you
    for me being autistic i do not connect
    with persons
    i suffer alone
    and more s the pity
    if it is wrong be smart
    do not start to conspire
    with shit
    the reason we do not talk
    nor walk together is clear
    it is a no go
    and never
    no need to sever the connection
    cos there is not one

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It is indeed a very, very difficult path you are on Utahan. And no, I do not ‘know’ it, but I can feel it. Most will not speak simply because they are afraid of the way you speak, upfront and can be quite confronting. And for many that is a reason to avoid something. And we all project what we are and attract accordingly making this journey indeed a rough and tumble in all we do. But I have to admit you are doing well. In the beginning many years ago you did just ‘likes’ and as time goes by you have added ‘you’ to the comments so others may get to know you. And today you have stood in your truth and expressed something from very deep. In the beginning I was only able to make a brief comment but as time went by I finally came out and was able to join in. And yes, in your case because the comments were a little unusual most people were not sure in how to reply, if at all. That takes courage and for that, thank you for sharing 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No I didn’t say you didn’t understand, it is in fact us not understanding you. Just stand in your truth Utahan, that is where that inner love grows by speaking from your heart 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

        Liked by 1 person

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