I am a know it all 12/6

So many times in recovery I have thrown my hands up and asked in utter defeat, with tears streaming down my face -“Why!!??!!

Most times…the answer is actually none of my business. When I am in that state of questioning the universe, than I am no where near a state of being able to hear the true answer.

My favorite defect of character is that I am a know it all -I think I know it all- I think I should know it all and I want to know it all – all the time.

So when presented with things I do not understand…or better yet..MY EGO does not understand then irritation arises.

Today I still jump when confused, however my experience has shown me that when I trust and let things go…eventually my guidance and spirit clue me in on the beauty and grace of the happenings of life.

My guidance steers me away from the “know it all” and leads me to the “knowing”.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

16 thoughts on “I am a know it all 12/6

  1. I just had to shut up so I could hear that inner voice. Between me and my old mate ‘ego’ we couldn’t hear ourselves think from the noise we were making. But…eventually…we got there 🀣 πŸŽ…πŸ½ ❀️ πŸ•Š πŸ™πŸ½ πŸŽ„ πŸ¦‹ 🎁 ⛄️ 🀣

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We still mind chatter, like still having a voice, it doesn’t matter what we become as they will still be there. BUT, in that change (when we finally go through our fears), our attitude towards it changes and it becomes a less fearful noise because when we ‘let go’ our fears we are more accepting of who we are, what we mean and how so NOT ‘on guard’ to everything we are anymore. We are more at peace and relax into that peace so we don’t need to ‘question’ everything we do. It is still a part of normal chatter but not so noisy. What most people don’t realize is, it is actually a helpful tool to make decisions by yes, no, how does it feel etc, etc. Without it I think we would become robots, locked in commands and expressions and probably only like one type of chocolate 🀣 πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My mind chatter has become less of a threat over time. But I am always curious about how others use it…don’t use it…disregard it or as you say have it as a tool for discernment.
        Nobody could EVER only like ONE kind of chocolate!! That’s just crazy talk!! ha ha

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Nicely put. I am pretty similar. I think that’s pretty normal because we are limited by nature. Even Jesus in the New Testament account (some say story) cried out “Why have you forsaken me?” And he had, again according to the story, a LOT of knowledge.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Strange a few generations back people took alcohol (made old fashioned way with herbs and without distillation), smoked, and even used hallucinogenic herbs (for shamanic rituals) without getting addicted.

    The newer versions of alcohol, and synthetic drugs plus the loss of checks and balances from a close-knit community is the reason for addiction.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know nothing about any of that – I just know I can’t have any mind or mood altering substances. There is a malady of my mind that creates an obsession and compulsion to want more and more and throw everything else out in my life.
      That is my humble experience.

      Like

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