Calm in the Storm 12/29

The other night my son and his father, my x-husband, got into a very horrible fight. My son 19 and his father 47 threw fists, had a battle while I was on the phone listening to it all.

Truth is both wanted to be heard. Both wanted to be right. Both wanted respect and love. Neither one was giving in to the others demands.

Fortunately, I have a friend who lives just a few houses away. I called and asked him to go get my son and he did. My son was safe and in good hands.

My x-husband was yelling and ranting on the phone to me about the whole situation. Blaming me, blaming my son Tyler, blaming the world. I heard such upset in his voice. It sounded like he wanted to or needed to just cry. The lump in his throat was the size of a bowling ball.

Typically, myself in this situation would have reacted in such a panicked, fear driven way that ANYONE dare touch my son….there would have been some type of retaliation on my part. But I did not. I did not even raise my voice.

And this is the honest to god’s truth…I felt bad for my x-husband. I felt love and compassion. It is like what Jesus said when he was on the cross “Forgive them father for they know not what they do.”

His father does not know how to show his love. And he does not know how to connect peacefully with his son. He LOVES his son. It is just not something he knows how to do. I felt a feeling for my x-husband that was not rotten for the first time in over 10 years.

This must be unconditional love.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

22 thoughts on “Calm in the Storm 12/29

  1. Yes my friend, you have indeed found it. Gently waiting to be uncovered by understanding it…through you. We can only see in others, what we see in ourselves. Take a bow…they are beautiful…understanding…words ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 1 person

      1. And why God said to ‘never judge another’ because in truth we don’t know what they are going through…we don’t even know what we are going through and will judge from that ‘lack of understanding’ place 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  2. You’re post reminds me of the feeling behind this quote …
    “I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.”
    It’s a feeling, a moment, I look for.
    It was the first thing I thought of when I read this.
    Special needs parenting is….it can be brutal.
    The ability to see all sides, and love them all through it…it’s so awesome. It’s the one part of my story I’m proud of. You can feel for all sides, and see all sides. There never has to be hate. 💙

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha! I was a horrible teenager!! Yes – neither one are angels in this scenario. But the thing is – it was not my fight nor my place to judge the rightness or wrongness of it all. I was free and even filled with love & not fear during it ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Mmm… that was compassion indeed. Sometimes, when we put our hard feelings aside and are able to see clearly the shortcomings of other, and instead of hate, feel sad or sorry for them, it’s absolutely God speaking in our hearts, somehow saying, “See this person’s failures? It’s not who they are. It’s just that they don’t know how to do it.” But the problem is, the person might not even be ready to accept any free advice, 😄. I sympathise with him too, and your son for having have to face him. It’s not easy to be a dad. One might even wonder how to exactly go about it, especially when the son is grown and demanding their own “autonomy”.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. sounds real truly awful . the sins of his daddy are now tyler s too. the human zoo. no sugar coating that fucking shite danielle. tis sin. no way to win. you can say hey john go soak ya head in the snow. you betcha honey lamb watch me i am! ha ha ha!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Wonderful expression of you after the event happened.
    Your love is intact and came out of your heart and penned in this blog.
    God bless you, your son and your X husband.
    Stay blessed always with all.
    Jusus loves US.
    Regards 🙏🙏

    Liked by 1 person

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