The disease of addiction is like no other. It will tell me that I am not sick when in fact I am very ill. This disease is one of the most manipulative mind twisting entities that I have ever encountered.
I have witnessed it in myself and in countless others.
In my active addiction it was a living nightmare. My body was beat up from head to toe, my poor son had a mother that was in shambles, my spirit was dim and I was the equivalent to a walking zombie.
Now this part of my disease is remarkable….it will send a thought to my brain that says “It wasn’t really THAT bad. It has been over 11 years, all your cells are different…you can probably have one drink and be just fine.”
HA!!! HA!!! HA!!! After all that I went through – losing myself – hurting many others…and my disease will tell me “you weren’t that bad.”
To keep this highly sneaky disease at bay…I need the others to share their truth and remind me “remember when.”
I need to get up in the morning and acknowledge that something bigger than me…an energy, a force, a source of life allows me to remain sober when I ask it to.
And then I tell my disease…maybe you think it wasn’t that bad – BUT I THINK THIS WAY IS MUCH BETTER.