“Chooch I’m Struggling” 1/14

This is the text I sent to one of my life lines in recovery yesterday.

It was a very unsettling and emotional day and the million dollar question is…why?

All I know is I woke up with the feeling of wanting to hibernate and then by lunch time I wanted to shut my whole life down.

No more desire to do anything, say anything, experience anything…I’m good.

I was taking the young one Clay to hockey and he wanted play a game where we only step on certain parts of the sidewalk because the rest is hot lava. I told him I couldn’t that I wasn’t feeling well. I was secretly crying under my baseball cap.

Clay said to me something that I taught him. He said “Danielle, what about one foot in front of the other.”

God was there, I felt it.

I made it through the day, got in my car and sent the text “Chooch I’m struggling.”

The phone rings. God was there too.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

19 thoughts on ““Chooch I’m Struggling” 1/14

  1. And He will speak from where it may, even from the mouths of babes dear lady. Glad you are ok, and yes, one foot in front of the other…because sometimes those steps have such beauty in them…even sometimes a chocolate 😂 🤣 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes there is no WHY. Sometimes you wake up & you’re just BLAH. That’s the way life is.

    I don’t know how old you are but I bet you’re quite a bit younger than I am.

    One thing I’ve learned … & this really has nothing to do with sobriety … is that there’s days you feel good & there’s days you feel like crap.

    Living in sobriety means that you have a better chance of having more days when you wake up feeling good but that doesn’t meant that you’re ALWAYS going to wake up feeling good.

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting to hibernate, especially in the middle of January, which is when we’re supposed to hibernate. We’re mammals, after all. This modern culture doesn’t let us do what our bodies want us to do … which is why we so often feel like shit. Sober or not.

    When you get to be as old as I am, perhaps you’ll be able to hibernate a little bit during the winter days like I do. Or at least curl up on the couch with a good book & a cup of tea.

    Sometimes all I do is watch the birds at the suet feeder. Luckily, I’m able to do that.

    Which is not to say that I don’t have deadlines & things that have to be done on certain dates.

    I’m so glad you have people to call for support. & that inner self that you call God. Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you very much for your words and input – and I agree it’s very human of me to feel these feelings 💜❤️💜just when I’m in the storm it’s hard to see that – my mentality is usually one of – ouch that hurts run away!
      Today is a better day thank god 💜❤️💜and thank you again

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes Chooch we have to suit up and show up. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out that door to real life. I have those days alot. Dealing with life on life terms. We are not crazy🤔we are human. We push through the shit knowing we will be home safe on our couch with our cup of tea,loved ones and Netflix. To do it all again the next day. We push through with our Prince of Peace holding our hand.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. walking dead man talking out time outta mind. the gist was we all need to be naked with someone fine. the nice man will come with the blue emojois and i will grit my teeth and think don t he got nuttin bettah ta do>?

    Like

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