Carrying the message 3/18

It is said in recovery that we can only keep what we have by giving it away.

Last night myself and 3 other addicts went to a detox facility to share what happened to us, how we got clean and how we stay clean today.

Every time I enter into one of these places it is difficult but beautiful at the same time. It is hard because I remember just how sick I was. It is beautiful because I remember just how sick I was.

The four of us speaking went in to a room of about 40 addicts. That in itself can be quite intimidating.

But the room was kind. I could feel it. All of the people were very respectful and grateful that we were there.

After we shared, the best part of the meeting happens…the patients come up and talk to us.

One boy came up to me straight away and said I am 19 the same age your son is now. This young boy was so beautiful – his features were like something out of a magazine. Blue blue eyes, white smooth healthy looking skin and the shiniest red hair I have ever seen on a male.

I hugged him and asked him his name…he said his name was Sapphire. He told me that he had been homeless since 16 years old and living on the streets. His family went to the court and had him “sectioned” to the detox. Meaning sent against his will.

He told me that his mom and dad refused to accept him as he is. He told me he had been struggling with sexual identity issues and at first he thought he was gay but then he was realizing he was transgender.

The problem was not that he was struggling to figure out where he fits in this world. The problem was that his mom and dad refused to show him love as he is.

He would rather live on the streets and be free….. than live in an environment where he feels unloved.

I always learn something when I put myself out there. I leave the detox with a heavy heart knowing that maybe 1 or 2 out of the 40 people will actually make it.

And at the core of that is they will leave this earth not feeling loved or accepted.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

30 thoughts on “Carrying the message 3/18

  1. This is heartbreaking, so sad, and also so beautiful, I am in tears as I read this post. I am so glad you do speak to addicts now. What a wonderful thing to be able to do and I thank you for sharing with us. Xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you❤️it’s what I learned to do in recovery- to help the addict who still suffers. It helps me more than I can even explain. It gives me profound gratitude ❤️💜❤️Thank you for reading Carol.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. At the heart of every soul is the desire to love and be loved. For some, it is easier to love and for some it is easier to be loved. When only one happens, especially with your own parents, God longs to step in and love back. He will not without permission, for our freedom of choice is equally important to Him. I just prayed for him, that he allows God to fill in the gap and heal his heart and soul. He is so loved!❤

    Liked by 3 people

  3. As hard as it is, they need to see that lack of love…so that in all their lives they will fill it with ‘anything’ to make them forget it. But it is on the day that they dare to look within themselves that God will look back with a love like nothing else. They just have to take that one step, dare to question why they feel as they do, ask how does that lack of love from their parents make them truly feel in their heart of hearts…and listen to what it has to say. Face that wall that we all build around our hearts to block that pain, and blocks our love too, and the answer is gently waiting for that young child to hear. Dare…and be free…forever. Great post dear lady, He has sung in your heart because you dared to listen ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Not fully here yet, still having problems with the computer. It appears to be an intermittent problem and must be time to put it to sleep and lash out for another one. Either that or get my carrier pigeons back out 😂 🤣 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋


  4. I am glad I read this post today. There is a lot here that I relate to and it enriched my quiet time this morning. Being a recovering addict myself and working with homeless people daily, I can relate to a lot of what you shared here. Good post-keep on writing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s hard to see and even explain sometimes but that boy is safe right now…and will be for at least the next month or two. He will be clean and will have the opportunity to get in touch with himself and a higher power❤️💜💜there’s always some hope to be had. Thank you for reading and sharing with me. It is much appreciated 💜🙏💜

      Liked by 2 people

  5. It’s amazing what a little unconditional love can do. I’ve seen this many times while working with elementary aged children as a teacher. Some of them come from difficult family environments (like your new friend) and simply need someone to love them for who ( and where) they are. Love is such a powerful thing, especially when it’s the “no matter what” kind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely!! Working with the little ones shows us in a more real and raw way. They light up when they are loved unconditionally ❤️We have had similar journeys my friend.
      I worked with the young ones in so many different settings; schools, camps, the ymca and now I nanny. They have taught me the greatest lessons in life – which is love ❤️ thank you David ❤️💜❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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