The ache in my heart is love 5/7

My boy Pickles on my lap as I write this

So yesterday I brought my furry cat friend Pickles for his ultra sound. They said the dreaded word…cancer. I kind of knew it before they told me.

The good news is the vet said he is not ready to die and he is not currently in any pain so he is not suffering. Also there is a medicine that is helping his belly digest things properly.

This news just slammed into me in so many different ways. The first thing I thought of before I left the vets office was…my son. I didn’t want to tell my son. I wanted to protect him from this pain.

There was a technician vet lady named Diane there and she actually cried with me. I told her about my son and then she just opened up about her own son. He is 21 years old and they had to put their dog named Tank down 2 years ago and her heart still aches for that pup.

There is and has been far more joy than pain from this beautiful animal. There has been 12 years of unconditional love.

This ache that I have is just love at it’s finest. I am privileged to have such a relationship with such a beautiful being.

I have no idea how long he will be here but I am savoring every minute. Just as I am learning to do with my own life.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

28 thoughts on “The ache in my heart is love 5/7

  1. Remember all this next time he poops in the corner!
    Seriously, there are lots of things said about animals dying but they all tend to be cliches. At least you are aware that all this is finite.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So very true. Having had dogs for 42 years, I cry like a baby each and every time one of them passes on. I mean, how do you beat the unconditional love they freely give? It is just a daily reminder of how much more God has unconditional love for me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So sad to read this, let’s hope the cancer stays stable for a long time. I had to put down 3 dog due to cancer and yesterday I heard form a friend that her dog proably also has cancer, she waits for the results of the punction.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe I am so sorry to hear about your pups and your friend 💜 Pickles is doing very good today snuggling and purring and eating. Sooo I appreciate this time and all of the love ❤️ thank you for your kindness

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry to hear this my friend, it is a hard thing to go through. And even worse what your son will feel also. Lots of love and light to you all, may it at the least be painless for Pickles and know he is loved lots by the two biggest hearts in his life ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s a love that I’m tapping into and so grateful to be experiencing. My son is doing ok with the news. I’m learning to let him process it on his own and with me ❤️ he likes the idea that he and I are going through this together. He’s not alone in it – he connects to that. We talked about the great heart ache last night -pheww it’s one of those painfully beautiful things.
      Today Pickles is doing well and for that and the can of love that has been opened up within I am truly grateful 💜
      I read something today about honoring another’s journey – that is what I feel like I am being given the opportunity to experience. For my son and my kitty 💜🌈

      Liked by 3 people

      1. It is an amazing thing that when we finally awaken, all that we ever worried about is now viewed from a completely new direction. That love we have finally given ourselves is now given out from that new opening. Marvelous, beautiful and so clear, no longer blocked by what we were. But understood to be needed so that we could indeed reach this place within. Big hugs to you both dear lady, your son has a great teacher ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋


  4. Thanks for sharing this difficult story, Grace. I’ve had to put a half dozen (or more) pets down. It’s never easy. Hopefully, Pickles has a goodly amount of quality time left for you and your son to enjoy his company. Thinking good thoughts for you, Grace. Also, wishing you (and Pickles, and your son) peace!


  5. I am so sorry to read this news, Danielle. I have had to say goodbye to too many fur-buddies over the years and it doesn’t get any easier. They own a good chunk of our hearts and it hurts that they only live a portion of our time here, leaving a hole when they return to Source. But what lessons they share with us about love, life and death. We can learn so much from them. They stay present and just live life to the fullest. Hugs to you and Pickles. Treasure the days you have left. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Eliza !! ❤️it is definitely touching all sorts of love in my being❤️he’s doing very well yesterday and today. Taking his medicine and eating like a horse and keeping it all down – so it’s really up to him💜 I am along for his journey and what an honor ❤️💜❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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