The sting of Mother’s Day 5/8

Being in recovery and dealing with holidays (especially in the beginning) was a nightmare for me.

The one that never failed to disappoint me was mother’s day. I could not figure out what dark curse had been cast upon me regarding this day.

Each year I was hopeful that this one would be better than the last. I was a mom…and now a sober mom…so what the hell was my problem. Why did each one seem to get worse??

Maybe from an outsider it looked like I was fine. But the truth is…the unworthiness and shame and guilt were screaming from my insides out.

What I was experiencing is not unique with addicts in recovery. When we get sober and then start showing up for life (holiday’s included) it just opens the door for reminders of our past. And for me Mother’s Day just stung me like a pack of hornets.

I think this is a prime example as to why it is so very difficult to STAY clean. It is those unexpected events and the feelings they produce that just put me in a panicked unhappy state.

My two favorite Mother’s Day’s that I have had in the past 12 years are as follows:

One year I flew to Florida by myself for a mini vacation. When I came home my son had a cake and a necklace for me waiting on the counter.

Oh he also spelled out I love you in oranges!!! (see above photo)

Then maybe last year or the year before when the pandemic hit I got flowers for my mom and my sister n law and delivered them to their door steps with heart felt written letters to both.

I got myself out of me and into a state of appreciation. I have learned that this is a fail proof way to have a good day.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who mother!

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

26 thoughts on “The sting of Mother’s Day 5/8

  1. Beautiful dear lady, a mothers heart from both sides of it. That takes courage and all the more loving because of it. Happy Mothers day, may it be with that love you have found 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Happy Mother’s Day. I hope to hear from my son but he’s in the field & he was told not to take his cell so I doubt I hear from him until he gets home sometime next week. It’s been hard on his wife, who is 10 weeks pregnant … she knows almost no one in Clarksville. I’ve been texting with her every day.

    Being an Army Mom is really hard. The Army talks about being all for the family but it’s a lie, like so many other lies they tell. I have seen my son once in the last year.

    But the sun is rising & I am sober this morning. So I am grateful for that. After meditation, I plan a nice walk.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Our son left abruptly in 2008 and we have not heard from him since then. Holidays are still hard, but Mother’s Day is the tough one. I just fully relax in the loving arms of my Lord Jesus, knowing He is truly all I need, and I let the rest go, because stewing in it only steals my joy. Life is too short to allow that to happen. Thanks for opening this conversation.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve had some difficulties with certain holidays and anniversaries, as a newly sober person. Hoping that Mother’s day continues to get better for you. Happy Mother’s Day to a beautiful, strong woman ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yeah, it’s one of those loaded holidays, for sure. My best ones are the ones with NO expectations, but that isn’t so easy, is it? Glad to read you are having a good day today. Mine was one of the better ones, probably because I took time out first thing for some yoga and a long walk and tour of my garden. All the rest just fell into place, amen! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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