“I wanted to fit in” 5/11

Monday morning I got to hear a beautiful recovering soul named Michael share his experience, strength and hope at a recovery meeting.

Michael came into recovery about 7 months ago. He arrived confused, broken and lost…..but ready.

What blew me away was that he already recognizes that the drugs and booze were but symptoms of a greater issue. The drugs are not the issue…what led to him picking up was to be discovered.

This insight and clarity are the miracle. Michael wanted to find the root of his problem…he was seeking the knowledge of how and why it started in the first place.

He recalled having all the confidence in the world when he was younger. He said when he was in 4th and 5th grade he did not care what anyone else thought about him. He knew who he was and what he wanted to be.

But then he said…somewhere along the way what the others thought of him began to matter. He expressed the need for fitting in. He said he just wanted fit in. So rather than standing in his own truth, he followed what others were doing.

I believe that this is the same thread you will find in most of us in recovery. We lost ourselves through what the others told us to do, be or think. We are such freedom seeking beings that we could not handle not being our true selves….

So we used drugs and alcohol to cover up the constant fight within.

Those of us in recovery, like Michael who recognize this have been given one of the most precious gifts.

Freedom to become our true selves.

Thank you for sharing your truth Michael. As you know this is not an easy road..but it is well worth it.

Keep going my friend.