A moment of love 5/17

My mom grew up in a very strict Catholic household. Her name is Sheila.

Her history is a bit of a mystery to me and as I write this I am becoming more aware of that fact. Maybe I have never sat with her and asked her these unanswered questions that I have.

I know her dad died when she was young in a car accident. My grandmother Betty was actually in the car as well and survived. Nobody ever spoke of this.

My mom is a very proper and reserved woman. She did not show lots of emotion when we were growing up. She was not very affectionate. I can understand a bit why. Back then to talk and share emotion was considered a weakness.

Well, when I received news that my cat Pickles had cancer…. much to my surprise all I wanted was my mom. Tears and tears and more tears came and I just wanted my mom.

When I saw my mom last week on Mothers Day I told her of the news of Pickles. The compassion and love in her eyes just shot right threw me.

I cried and I told her “All I wanted was my mom.” Her eyes welled up and she simply said “your the best!” She then hugged me with such a pure motherly love filled hug that I will never forget.

My friend Roberta said “Sheila’s arms became angels wings and she just embraced you with them.” and then she said “Go Sheila!!”

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

17 thoughts on “A moment of love 5/17

  1. Ah my beautiful friend, the strings that this released for you both at that moment is beyond words. Its waves will roll on for a long, long time. My heart goes out to you both, it is a lifetime come together for a moment…forever ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  2. This post particularly touched me Grace. Our mothers sound similar with being reserved and not showing emotion and being very proper. My mom though was very punitive to the point that it was abusive. I could see needing my mom in a few situations she would understand better than anyone else. My relationship with her is still strained. I seek resolution and she won’t give it to me.

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  3. It’s never too late to start those talks with your mom. Ask questions…dig deep. I wish I had the opportunity now that I am clean/sober to talk to my mom. I have so many unanswered questions. I sat at her grave last Saturday. I could feel her presence on that beautiful warm sunny day. She loved beautiful sunny days. That’s when she would putter around the yard all day. Cleaning the yard,planting flowers enjoying the outdoors until unset. I remember the bright yellow sweat suit she wore to protect her from the bugs. It was torn and wore out. I feel so at peace from that visit at her grave. I will visit her again real soon🙏❤️

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  4. Oh, how this tugs at my heart, for so many reasons. Firstly, that you recognized the feeling, acted on it and she was there for you. But most importantly, you still have time to ask all those unanswered questions. I encourage you to open a dialogue with her on a regular basis. She might be wanting it but doesn’t know how to go about it. I lost my mother when I was 20 and all those conversations we never could have still haunt me.

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  5. Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey. Mum-daughter relationships are complicated but it seems like you are standing at the threshold of something new, while you deal with the sadness of Pickles 🤗. I would like to share my own experience in the hope that it might shed some light on what your mother might have gone through. My father died when I was 6 and my mother, suffering with her own grief, shut me off and discouraged me from expressing my grief. I learned to withdraw into my own world, became very with drawn and reserved, even into adult life. I was always feeling like I was “looking after” my mother’s feelings which impacted my life till I went for counseling 15 years ago. I share this because I wonder what your mother went through in her own private world as a child. It might be a very difficult thing for her to talk about if she was never encouraged to talk about it. I know I spent sessions, just crying and not talking at all because looking at the grief was like a siphon that brought up the grief full force.

    I wish you all the best in your journey with your mother. May it be an enriching experience for both of you. May be it can even help her. Blessings 🙏💐🤗

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    1. I cannot thank you enough for sharing that with me. I have not given to much consideration to what she went through losing her father very young…and how the whole family must have been shut down for a bit.
      I would love to ask her in a gentle way not to intrusive purely to gain the opportunity for me to know her better.
      I cannot thank you enough for your openness 💜🌈💜

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      1. You are welcome, I truly pray it goes well for both of you. My heart goes out to you and your mother ❤️ I feel like my relationship with my mother was healed through gentle, mindful enquiry and I believe it will happen for you too. It’s not a coincidence that you have already begun the process through your kitty. Wishing you blessings 💜🌈💜

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