When one sibling is sick 5/26

Pickles and Snoopy are 12 year old cats and they are brothers. Pickles has been ill and diagnosed with cancer for about 3 weeks now.

What I am noticing is the attention and focus that Pickles is getting and the neglect that Snoopy is receiving. I literally find myself a little annoyed with Snoopy when he wants to sit in my lap…where Pickles should be sitting.

These are very small things but I am definitely aware of it.

We have a laser pointer that they both used to play with but now because Pickles can’t I don’t take it out at all for Snoopy.

There is some kind of guilt, but yet it feels perfectly natural to favor the sick one. Never mind the stress with the medications and making sure Pickle’s is comfortable.

This got me thinking of humans. How many children grew up in a household where one sibling was sick so they had to become less of a priority? And also…what does that do to the healthy child mentally?

Children are children and a feeling that they are less important has to do something to their feeling of self worth.

I am not sure why this hit me but it did. I did not experience this personally but it most certainly has me thinking.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

29 thoughts on “When one sibling is sick 5/26

  1. A wonderful, thought provoking post. It’s heart touching and also an eye opener. Great job, dear Danielle. You never fail to amaze me. 😊😊♥️♥️😊

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  2. I experienced this. It makes you feel worth so much less than the sick child, like you don’t matter. Like your exhaustive efforts to get some kind of attention fail so much you look for attention from others that surprise don’t love you after all.this actually started my addiction. It happens a lot, from what I have read. It hurts. It does. It still hurts. I felt when I read this that God was talking to me, saying I matter. So thank you, my friend. 😃❤️

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  3. The true love of God is impartial and it takes us a life time to begin to discover its vastness. We are limited He is infinite and eternal… Not one sparrow falls outside of His care… Too deep to understand but so simple to just receive…
    BT

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  4. Oh I do…you’ve opened your heart dear lady to a very profound and loving God. You want to stand in that place with much faith…so He fills it with that healing Grace so you can see and understand His love ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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      1. It is indeed a smack in the face dear lady, simply because it is breaking through our old barriers and feel so profound…but lovingly so. As we open you will be surprised at what comes through. Everyone thinks it must only be for very special moments but Spirit only yesterday nudged me about a cushion…yes, a cushion. We have what is called a collection day once a year so that anything we don’t want is put on the footpath over a week or two so that everything is recycled in one way or another. People drive by and see something they’ve been looking for for years but you can’t buy anymore or, and in my case, a lovely big outdoor cushion was sitting on an old lounge and would have been great for my neck for where I sit (back support). But I thought I would go out later but Spirit nudged me, so I went and had a shower first but it had become quite cool so I decided to leave it till the next day but Spirit nudged me again. But of course I knew better and left it. At 5.30am the main pickup crew that completely clears the footpaths came and took it all. When we open…we open to so many things. When we can finally hear, we do hear everything, things we wouldn’t even imagine. Happy listening my friend, your channel is clearing nicely 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  5. I went through this. I never ever got sick as a kid. Not only did I not get the usual childhood sicknesses that kids got (like mumps, I was the ONLY one who didn’t get them), I was the only one who didn’t have their tonsils out … I never went to the hospital at all. All my brothers & sisters did. My one sister had her appendix out & was very sick was quite a while. TONS of attention was showered on her … she got new toys … the fabulous new Skipper doll with the bending legs! & the cool carrying case to go with her & it was FILLED with clothes! I was so jealous … I was given her old doll but she had the straight legs & a bunch of old clothes & it was like … so what. I remember cutting her hair to make her look like Twiggy & my mother was so mad at me for “ruining” the doll. I wish I still had that doll now. LOL

    I never went to the hospital as an inpatient until I had my son at age 32.

    The one time that something happened to me … I was stung by a wasp on the very top of my head … I still have a scar from this! … I was told that it was MY FAULT for being in that barn in the first place! I almost died! Nobody knew I was allergic to bee/wasp stings before this time. I had hives the length of my torso & I was one big red rash. I passed out trying to tell my mother what had happened. My mother rushed me to the ER & soon afterward, I was started on immunization shots … I got three a week for a month, then one a week for three months, then it gradually went down … this went on for three years until it stopped. I never had a problem with needles. But nobody gave me new toys or even any more attention after this … just the negative kind. Cuz it was my fault for being somewhere I wasn’t “supposed” to be.

    During this period, my younger sister had a double hernia operation & she was … you guessed it … showered with all kinds of attention … because what 8-year-old has a double hernia? She got the groovy Nadia Comenec Skipper doll with the gym equipment … I suppose she still has this … it’s got to be worth quite a bit of money now. I was too old for Skippers at that point but that was a really cool doll.

    (BTW, we weren’t allowed to have Barbies because my father didn’t approve of their sexualized bodies).

    I read what you say about your cats but it’s not always like this. When my cat Jack was really sick a year ago, Bobby was nice to him but Radar was a real asshole. He would attack Jack mercilessly. It was like he knew Jack was really sick & didn’t have the energy to defend himself. I knew Jack was sick & I wasn’t going to shell out a lot of money to keep him alive … I’m not that girl. Cats (& dogs) don’t understand that. They only know their pain. My attitude is, if a pet is sick & in pain, it’s time to put them down. That’s the compassionate thing to do. I really miss Jack. I probably miss him more than any pet I’ve ever had. A picture of him came up on Facebook yesterday & it made me so sad. I miss him! It’s been a year now.

    I’m rambling here … I’m sorry. Thanks for letting me share.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!! Pickles is currently not in pain or suffering- I am very vigilant in monitoring him. The vet said he is not ready yet. I agree he is still very snuggly and resting easy ❤️💜❤️

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  6. Such an interesting thought. Last week my two-year-old had to have a root canal. So I took him out afterwards and let him pick out three cars that he wanted. But I didn’t want it not to be fair so I bought a toy for my 6-year-old. She is delighted because this was the 3rd gift she got all because her brother keeps having to go to the dentist.

    However you do it, it isn’t really fair. But isn’t the core of it that we are so sad (you because of Pickles – and I’m so sorry) and me because my 2-year-old has to have dental work that we might be a little out of balance? Maybe we just need to do our best knowing that?

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    1. Oh myyyy!! 2 years old and a root canal??? I can’t even imagine!! Thank you for sharing this – I only have 1 child he’s 19 now so I really have never experienced this or even thought much about it. ❤️💜❤️🙏♥️

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  7. This post melt my heart of Pickles your precious purr baby have blessing long life 12 x 7 = 84 age…almost same as my mom now is 87…I can imagine. Now, she (Mom) has early stage of Alzheimer’s & Dad is 91….He has Parkinson’s disease & dementia on & off. My sister and I are loyal to take care of cherished “babies” (Mom & Dad) have a good long life. Pickles wants You know he is lucky to have you are best Mom. Give him lot of hugs and love he your purr baby, enjoys spending with you very special moments.

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    1. Thank you so so much ❤️❤️it’s all love and gratitude with him. I have been blessed to have him in my life for 12 years – I cherish him and his brother ❤️💜❤️

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  8. Thankfully, Snoopy isn’t a human, but while he has needs, I’m confident he is resilient. It is only right that Pickles gets most of your attention now. In the 5 weeks prior to my favorite cat’s passing, I could think of little else.

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    1. Thank you Eliza – I definitely don’t think Snoopy is taking anything personally and I am not ready to give up my attention and time with Pickles ❤️🌈❤️

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  9. I can totally relate to this. I didn’t have a sick sibling. I was the youngest of 6 children. I was the baby that got all the attention now I was second fiddle. Till this day I am working on this resentment towards my mom and brother. The steps are helping me to let go.

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  10. Sweet Pickles. I have a bunch of dogs so I empathize. When one gets sick, I tend to them more than the others. I think it’s just human nature to recognize when something needs our love more than others.

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      1. Can’t ask for more than that! I’m glad he’s feeling better. I have a little stomach scare going around my pups right now, feeding the ones with trouble just chicken and rice. I love my animals too 😊

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  11. It breeds jealousy. It makes the healthier sibling sometimes wish to be sick because the level of attention the sick sibling is second to none

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