Did I choose Addiction? 6/1

As a child with dreams and an astounding imagination becoming an addict was most certainly not on my list of wants or to do’s.

But the thing that my hearts deepest desire held …… led me to become an addict so I could simply and truly understand the connection with a higher power.

Confused?

Here it is.

I know today with all of my being that I became addicted to drugs and alcohol to find the way out.

If I did not go through the hell on earth…I would not be able to experience the heaven.

If I did not know the pain of numbing myself and condemning this thing called life and everyone in it then I could never really discover it’s beauty.

I had to die to become free. Addiction was my path.

I had to experience first hand the grace and power that an energy – a divine force greater than me that pulled me from the horrors of active addiction.

I had to experience a miracle for me to understand and know….god exists.

I would not change the journey or the path for anything. The lessons are invaluable.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

15 thoughts on “Did I choose Addiction? 6/1

  1. Wise words dear lady, and well written. We can never truly know something unless we go through its opposite ie.We can never truly appreciate happiness unless we have experienced the pain of sadness too. Great post πŸ˜€ ❀️ πŸ™πŸ½ πŸ¦‹

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  2. Yes. Those of us in recovery sometimes I see as the blessed ones. We get it now. We have seen the guy behind the curtain and know tthat charade well and see the Creator and His real powerful love and the truth of how beautiful and precious life is. It is a depth I feel sorry for some that can’t see it or are unappreciative. I know we had to pretty much die to get here but doesn’t the greatest love show itself by laying down its life for us? Is that not the perfect redemption story? Makes us very rich, not to boast but to make an observation.πŸ˜ƒβ€οΈ

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    1. I absolutely agree – I have thought so many times about the people who don’t know πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜¬ Once I was over the shock of my addiction and settled a bit and then realized that there’s access to this great divine energy- I kind of started wondering what was everyone else doing?
      We are blessed beyond measure and to discover it – is pure grace ❀️β™₯️❀️

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  3. The greater our need the greater is our discovery of God. It is the rich in themselves and the contented who miss out of His wonder.

    “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost” Love seeks to fill the vacuum of the human heart. He is ever near and never far.
    BT

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for this. I supported individuals living with addictions for many years in my roles as an outreach worker. I prayed for many, that they would experience the death to self you are talking about. I am glad you came to that point so you can now really live. Blessings, Tim

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  5. What difference does it make what you wanted as a child? If we all became what we wanted to be as children, the world would be peopled with pirates & cowboys & princesses.

    As for the world of drugs & alcohol, I know I chose that path, I chose it with joy & abandon & I don’t mind owning that. I personally think that the whole disease concept is a crock … it’s there to absolve us of our guilt of choosing a life that harms ourselves & the people around us but the fact is, we chose to drink & drug. Own that & forgive yourself & move on from that.

    Honestly, I’ve been around long enough to know that the hardest thing is forgiving yourself for choosing to use. I think that’s why so many people relapse. They just can’t give themselves a break. Or maybe they don’t want to.

    Thanks for letting me share.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the world would be so fun with pirates and princesses!!πŸ’œ
      I have learned that we are not responsible for the disease but we are responding for our recovery πŸ’œ thank you for your comments

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