Feeling distant 6/2

Sometimes I just feel distant from the world. It feels like I am here but I am not.

I love connecting with others and I have become far more open to it recently. But there is still that feeling of “being on my own”.

I am not sure if this is a self centered thing or if it is part of being a human. Or both?

I am sad because Pickles my cat who was diagnosed with cancer over a month ago is starting to move slower. He’s just tired and I don’t know when to interfere with his life.

I don’t want to interfere with his life but I don’t want him to suffer either.

Life feels cruel sometimes. It just does.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

51 thoughts on “Feeling distant 6/2

  1. I understand exactly what you are saying. I am a loner. I enjoy connecting with people but I don’t want my life style to change.
    I lost my beloved dogs 28 days apart to cancer. Sometimes when their quality of life has become horrible then it’s time to let them go.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for sharing with me. For some reason I think I felt guilty for wanting go disconnect from the world. But now I don’t feel that way as much.
      I am truly sorry to hear about your pups – they are just so meant to move our hearts in ways others cannot ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Life is cruel sometimes. God is unclear sometimes and other times ia very clear. People are inconsistent and difficult to want to be around sometimes. All this is true. So sorry about Pickles, such a cute name and obviously very loved. Distant is ok sometimes, especially when sad about an ill loved member of the family. God is right there with you. My thoughts are with you there and I just prayed for you. You are never isolated, especially when you feel like it. God bless you, my friend. You are so loved.❤️🌻

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I cherish my own company, it gives me the space to think about things. But not all the time.

    With cats, there isn’t really a right call. Whatever you do, it’ll feel like you did the wrong thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Good morning. It is part of being human. Not a nice part but one that creates a hunger satisfied only by a deepening relationship with God. It keeps us leaning on Him. I am sorry about Pickles. You will know the right time to interfere but for now enjoy each day. Life is cruel. I often talk with Creator about it and he reminds me that life is short, and we have eternity together when all of life’s cruelty will seem like a mist.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID. I read this about 4 times today – you brought the truth and comfort to my heart ♥️ 💕thank you kind sir – much appreciated. And absolutely spot on♥️

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  5. Life is cruel! But, as you surely know, we must through that pain. We might suffer a lot we can learn from it though. We don’t know where we are going to, but we are on our way. ❤️🌹🙏

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  6. Wishing you peace. I knew when it was time to interfere with my dog Shawnee. I knew when it was time to interfere with my daughter’s cat Polly. You will know when it’s time to free Pickles. You will feel it in your heart. It’s not easy. Again, wishing you peace.

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  7. I can relate to that. Ive ways felt alone for some reason. I’m so sorry about your cat. We love our animals so much, it’s so hard to deal with this side of things.

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    1. Hi Loyd – thank you for your kind words. 💜this is a love like no other and it just feels like I don’t have much room to care or connect with others that much right now – which I guess is ok. 💜♥️💜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And that’s exactly where you need to be. Listen to that voice and follow where you already know you should go. It’s an ever-changing journey and it’s amazing to see.

        Liked by 2 people

  8. You are not self centered, but self aware.
    I am so very sorry to hear about your cat. You will KNOW when it’s time to let go.
    My very first cat, Billy Cat, had cancer in his hind legs. He was 19, and my husband and I did all we could for him, including cat acupuncture. When he was bleeding from the mouth, we knew it was time to say good-bye.
    That said, I do believe in miracles, and it could all turn around for the better in a heartbeat.
    Sending you love and support, for you and your kitty. HUGS!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. THANK YOU! I love a good miracle 💜❤️💜but if that is not the way then it’s just really comforting to hear that I will know when it’s time♥️I love the name Billy for a cat!

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  9. I was going to explain that distant and loneliness bit…but Spirit said ‘post’. So my next post is for you dear lady. But be sure your heart is indeed where it should be, even if unsure of the journey. Big hugs to you all ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Just a note to send virtual [hugs] of support on the path you walk now, with your beloved cat – one you do not walk alone, even when it feels as if you do – I walked that day by day path, ‘will I KNOW’ when it is time?” just a little over a year ago with my beloved dog – I tend to believe that yes, we do get to KNOW when it is time for us to step in – that they let us know, somehow – even as we struggle in our mind, in the debate, “Am I easing their suffering, or want to end MY suffering of being witness to their slowing down/perceived suffering??” Hang in there, dearheart. My dad used to say, “Keep your chin up, the gravel gets rough’ – and well – somedays? my brain chants that to me and seems like as good as anything to listen too.

    Thanks for visiting me, so I could follow the breadcrumb trail back to your slice of cyberworld.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is such a GREAT explanation!! I’m so torn by the things you just said – is me not wanting to see my baby slowing down and getting weaker or is he really suffering. Right now I think it’s me – actually I know it’s me ❤️ And very wise words from your dad. Much appreciated!!❤️💜❤️

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    1. Yessss very sound advice – I think posting it kind of alerts my friend’s especially the ones in recovery. But I must say the out pouring of love from the WordPress family is literally bringing tears to my eyes. So thank you for your love and prayers 💜♥️💜

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m sure you are in the perfect feeling place right now. This is not an easy wait and it is hard to witness the decline of someone you love, knowing the end is nigh. Hug and love him up as much as you can. He is your teacher. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I came over from Marks post and link to your blog.. I am sorry to learn about Pickles… as I person who is owned by a cat at present and many in the past.. This decision is never an easy one to make..
    I think you will be guided by your inner knowing when that time is right.. Pickles will tell you.. if you are like me, you will have a repour with him that will tell you when he’s had enough.. So follow your heart…
    And you are never alone….

    And so nice to meet you ….
    Sending thoughts of love your way ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hiiii welcome Sue and thank you so very much for your kindness 💜❤️💜Mark has also guided me to your blog as well and it’s very comforting.
      I love that you said you are owned by a cat! Because is that not the truth💜much love to you and yours.
      So happy to connect❤️🙏❤️

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Lovely to meet you too.. And yes we never own a cat.. They definitely own us.. they either want to stay or roam…
        I have had many cats in my life… One till she was 21 years of age.. The one I have now is 11, and he found us two years ago.. he was near starving.. And I found out who his previous owner was, but she didn’t want him back.. Long story… But cats know when they are wanted.. . and thought he would move in as we discovered him near our allotment plot where we started to give him food… He has to be the most intelligent telepathic cat I have struck up friends with yet .. He comes down the allotments with us, and plays hide and seek, and tag… and walks home with us afterwards. And he has now made his home with us. Much to the amazement of all on their allotments who say he’s more like a dog walking to heel LOL … He most definitely is a Cat.. and has his nights on the tiles even though neutered But he’s free to roam and he was sent just at the right time .. He got me through my own hurdle, so was divinely sent.. 🙂
        Sending You much love right back… Looking forward to more interactions in the future 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 2 people

      1. For what it’s worth, feeling disconnected is a symptom of childhood PTSD. It happens under stress, and what you’re dealing with is the dictionary definition of stress. It happens to me all the time.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Yeah, it is. I feel badly for Pickles and for you. I mean, it’s better that we outlive our pets. So far, I have outlived mine. But, still, we’d rather have them with us. Of course, we’d rather. We’d rather have them with us and healthy. Of course, that rather, too. For now, I hope you two continue to enjoy each other’s companionship.

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