We only have today 6/12

Pickles

My son Tyler is 19 years old. He has a diagnosis of autism. This means that he communicates in a different manner. His focus is unbelievably strong and his heart is as pure as they come.

He has refused to see the sickness in our cat Pickles who has a cancer diagnosis. Up until this point he just kept saying that Pickles was doing great and that he was getting better.

Until yesterday….

Tyler saw the struggle in Pickles. I was out and when I came home Tyler was in a bit of a panic. He told me Pickles was hiding under my dresser and when he went to pet him, he was breathing funny.

So many tears. It just hit Tyler and immediately he said “I don’t want him to die but I don’t want him to suffer.”

We are now in this together. We talked at length about different avenues of letting Pickles go. Ideally we decided we could talk to Pickles and let him know it is ok to go when he is ready.

We also agreed if we saw Pickles in pain we would take measures if necessary. There is a service that can come right into our home if needed.

At the end of our conversation Tyler looked at me and said “I always forget this but…one day at a time mom, one day at a time.”

Amen.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

40 thoughts on “We only have today 6/12

    1. Thank you Sue…it’s hard but it’s all the love that we have for our little animals❤️Tyler and I are growing through this together 💗 Was your cats name sweat pea?

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      1. Yes That was her name. Yes my daughter and son grew up with her. My daughter was devastated 😢 at the time.. we went four months before we rescued a 7 year old female from the cats protection league.. and have had a succession who have always found us ever since.. we currently have a male cat, he’s now 11..

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  1. Wow! Irregardless of Tyler’s autism, it’d be difficult for anyone to come to terms with the suffering of a loved one! ❤️😊 But he’s right, all you can do Danielle is take one day at a time. 😁👍

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  2. I have learned through the years that grief, as much as it hurts, is a gift from God. It is another way we have been designed to express love. I am glad that you have a intuitive 29 year old travel partner to walk down that road with you in this time.

    One day at a time mom; one day at a time.

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    1. We actually had that very discussion yesterday! I asked Tyler if he knew why he was so sad…and he said grief and I said LOVE ❤️ he understood that very well and gave him some peace in his being – I could see it♥️ thank you 🙏 your commenting did the same for me.

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  3. Out of the mouths of babes Danielle, they feel so strongly and dare to show it ❤️ Big hugs to all three of you, may it touch you all, feel its empathy, and give you all courage and strength for this journey ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  4. I can understand it is never an easy thing to watch our pets suffer and for our children to see it all because we want to protect them from it all. I have learned so much through my children’s eyes, how they love others and Gods creatures. My prayers are with you and your son during this difficult season. ❤️🙏

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    1. Exactly- it seems to amplify things when I see my son going through it. I’m trying to be ok for me and him ….but sometimes I just can’t. So I express to him as best I can that my feelings might feel shut down to him but they most certainly are not ❤️

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  5. Your son already has the makings of an old soul in his young body. I wish we could be as humane with humans as we can be with animals when we know that their pain is only marking time. God bless both of you when Pickles crosses over the rainbow bridge.

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  6. I worked with people with Autism and other disabilities for thirty plus years. It still amazes me what some people can come up with. You are, indeed, blessed to have a wise and caring son. One day at a time, baby. One day at a time! Wishing you peace, Grace!

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  7. As you know, I am personally acquainted with autism as well. Moving through grief with Alex when he lost his grandparents and pets gave me a view into his world that was unexpected. I will be thinking of you both as you navigate this journey with Pickles. Namaste ~

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