My disease at it’s finest 8/2

Events and circumstances allow me to recognize just how strong and prevalent this disease still is and can be in my mind.

A friend of mine (who is also in recovery) had surgery last week. The day after the surgery I brought over a pizza and checked in to make sure he was doing ok.

He had been given a prescription for oxycodone for pain and he had not taken any. He stated that the pain was not that bad and he did not want to take them.

He put the paper bag that had the pills in front of me and told me to get rid of them.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. A full pill bottle…ohhh my disease was awakened!!

He asked me to flush them down the toilet. But I wanted to keep a few – just incase my back went out again.

Welcome to this nasty, sneaky, cunning and vicious disease of the mind.

This disease will tell me it’s ok to do something that could destroy my life in an instant. It actually encourages me to.

Fortunately for me and for my friend I was able to put one foot in front of the other and flush those pills. But honestly for a day or two afterwards I caught myself still thinking about them from time to time.

I am so grateful that I did the right thing. And if my back ever does go out again…I can take tylenol or ibuprofen and just rest.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

34 thoughts on “My disease at it’s finest 8/2

  1. It is an amazing thing that that love inside us wants us to be sure of our love, ever retesting to remind us what we have now built…and let go. Sometimes we go through with flying colors, sometimes, and as you found, it knocked on the door and wanted to come in. And sometimes we think we are a trooper…but get hit with a very large shell, testing us to the core.
    Glad your heart was home dear lady, and know what it took to build. Great post, and a flag to help others 😀❤️🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You now have more love, a stronger heart from facing it. The strength in that compassion is now for you because you have experienced it, see it for what it is and what you have become because of it. No greater self love can you give 😀❤️🙏🏽

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I cannot imagine having to walk through life with that 100# weight sitting on my shoulders! To have to face your own destruction at every turn if you make the wrong decision. As evil as addiction is, it is teaching a far greater lesson. It is showing everyone the importance of helping one another, that we should not neglect reaching out to one another with an open heart and compassion for we never know when we will need to reach out to save ourselves. We are all joined together and that is the true essence of humanity. It is time for the world to come together and help raise each other up so we can create a stronger world. You may have to carry a 100# weight D, but you share a comradery with others that many long for. We all can have it if we just realize we need each other and that is NOT weakness! Glad you found your strength and faced down temptation! Now you and your friend are stronger for it! Well done!
    VK ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes I agree♥️ We all need each other to share our truths and help us work through it. Being an addict in recovery is something many people do not understand- a simple holiday or pill bottle can take us out. However we teach each other how to handle these situations and help one another. 💜❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Your higher self prevailed, phew! In a way, I fault the doctor for not asking about your friend’s circumstances, something they should be aware of, IMO. These drugs are given out way too readily, compromising recovering addicts and non-addicts alike. They are too easy to get addicted to and responsible awareness on the medical staff’s part is key.
    Kudos for passing the test, disturbing as it was. Put another badge on your chest! ⭐️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes and thank you 🙏 it’s a slippery slope because if he did need them it is ok to do if prescribed. But he didn’t need them and then we were sitting there with a bunch of pills 💊 🫤 But life on life’s terms and everything is just fine ❤️💜❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. A fantastic example of the power of “Nope!” when that voice starts up with its conniving, rationalizing, wheedling, and bargaining. Glad you had your “Nope!” at the ready! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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