Overdosing 8/18

I personally have never had the experience of overdosing.

However I heard a man speaking about it at a recovery meeting last night. I listened to his experience and I shuttered with fear of this disease yet again.

His name was Bobby. He said he had 23 days clean and then he relapsed and overdosed 2 days ago. He was angry. He said it so many times.

He was angry at God, angry at this life, he was angry that the only enjoyable thing in his life is destructive. He said that his addiction relieves him of his depression but he cannot use drugs right now because he has no money.

The thing that he said that REALLY hit me was: “I didn’t even get to get high because I just overdosed so fast.”

This disease of addiction is like no other. As active addicts we are crazy and care only to get high. Death does not frighten us as much as not getting a high.

I know that I needed to hear this man. I know I need to acknowledge how frightening and powerful this disease is.

I also know that I need to acknowledge that a higher power that I call god exists and is far more powerful than this disease.

And I know I need to thank it often.