Intentionally disrupting my own peace 12/9

Does anyone else ever catch themselves doing this?

In recovery this is referred to as “touching the hot stove.” I know the stove is hot…I know it burns…but I forget how hot it actually can be or…how bad it really stings.

In early recovery I was used to creating and living in chaos. I was actually uncomfortable when things were calm.

But as time went on and I learned about my diseased up mind, I found things that worked for me to soothe my mind and feed my spirit…peace became the new baseline.

But today I still find myself acting in a way that I KNOW will disturb my peace. I will call someone, watch something on tv, remember things that drive me nuts…I will look at and pick up the unwanted.

I can’t help but wonder if this is some form of guidance.

It just keeps letting me know I am human (unfortunately ha ha) and that there is free will.

Maybe it is a reminder that my mind and this disease of addiction is only arrested one day at a time.

I guess it keeps me sharp and alert in someway. Reminding me “hey gods over here.”

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

16 thoughts on “Intentionally disrupting my own peace 12/9

  1. It is ego and the sin nature trying to tempt you with what worked before. At first, it was a struggle dealing with the “devil you know versus the devil you don’t”. It is amazing the lies we tell ourselves. As I pushed through and got used to peace and saw it wasn’t some “devil I didn’t know” at all but God was there and really great things, it got better. I still live with some bad decisions but God helps me now and He is big enough to handle anything. I am thankful and humble.😃❤️

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We recovering addicts are pros at manipulating ourselves, aren’t we? Yes, humble and teachable is what we need. That and truth. We got this, though. Admitting and giving it up is first, relearning is second. Healing then happens and sheer joy with God. It is the long way through but getting there is sweeter. Love you, friend.😃❤️

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  2. They are in fact for us all. To see something from our past we can ‘feel’ how it affects us now…and understand we have become better and have moved beyond it…or maybe needs a bit more polish. The opposites in everything are our teachers, the amazing thing is, there is never any pushing or expectations…but our own. So anything we have achieved, we have built. We just have to decide if we want to live on a tropical island, a rain forest or a tip. Just remember, there can be some amazing things found in them all. Don’t judge them, accept we have been shown something, and change from that love received and understood. Great post Danielle, He does indeed share it all with us…so we can see 😀❤️🙏🏽

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    1. That’s such a good point that I tend to forget – “Don’t judge them, accept we have been shown something, and change from that love received and understood.”

      I am quick to judge rather than to just experience the gifts for what they are.❤️

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      1. We all do that dear lady because of our fears, ever on guard. But the day you truly understand, you can see…you, them, and have gained the ultimate gift of love that judges nothing because of that understanding of yourself. The only condition that ever exists on this world is how we feel about us. Heal that…and your free beyond words 😀❤️🙏🏽

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  3. Being tested this way is often the Ego mind program running to steal, or temp, and get you back into the chaos…
    So pleased you are saying Get thee behind me kind of thing.. And are aware and dealing with it..
    Kudos to you, and it is showing you also how far and how stronger you have become.. ❤ 🙏✨

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  4. It’s a human condition, I think. The brain gets bored and wants a challenge to explore, even if it isn’t the best. Like me eating dairy, 😀 even though I know my nose will be all stuffed up the next day and I won’t be happy. Almost as if I’m hoping that a miracle will happen and it won’t be. Always testing/hoping, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!

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    1. Yesss – I take a walk with god every morning outside in the pure and simple elements of nature❤️ connecting with it is the best and where I find my most peace. Thank you for sharing with me ❤️

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