There are certain people in my experience that bring about different emotional reactions.
Clay (5) and George (7) my charges; can definitely push my buttons. My son can…my mom…different people with different energies cause something inside of me to be triggered.
I was listening to a Shaolin Master named Shi Heng Yi on youtube about this very topic.
He explained that these people “who create a fire in you to move” are your greatest teachers. He says they are there for you to learn something about yourself.
He also says not to run away from those people but to find out what it is they are there to teach you.
I have been avoiding those specific fiery feelings my whole life. I drank and used drugs over those specific feelings.
Coming into recovery I have learned to accept many things that I cannot change. But I am always capable of changing my perception.
If I run from the fire…I have no chance to learn about it.
The daily addict 
So very true! I have had this experience so many times- those who anger me or just really annoy me- keep popping up. I find if I embrace and forgive them and remind myself I am not perfect, I learn from them and see them less or are ok with seeing them. Road rage I have not mastered yet, lol, still learning.😃❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s funny road rage is one of the things I have been spared from! But I have a lot of other issues for certain!❤️
Bra cause I nanny and when I’m driving Clay around the 5 year old I’ll drive very slow trying to get him to sleep. I’m sure I’ve upset people doing this…so when I am behind another going obnoxiously slow I try to imagine them getting a baby or toddler to sleep 💤
LikeLike
Ooo, I will try that. I mostly get mad at so many people driving while on their phones- it is so dangerous. But I will try to picture it for a good reason and that may help me. Thank you for the idea!!😃❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
The people who irritate us the most often teach us the best. Recently, I heard someone say that when we find something someone does that deeply bothers us then we should explore why because that thing we see in someone else actually exists in us and deep down is what bothers us about ourselves. Good post. Thanks for sharing honestly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙏 it’s been said many times that if you are pointing the finger at someone else there are 3 fingers pointing back at you! ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, we must learn about others and ourselves. Sometimes, however, the message is to flee them. At others it is to learn how to counter their malice, and still others can come to be our friends. The opportunities are endless and our time is limited. These problems are patient. They wait for us to solve them.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha! These problems ARE patient! I love that! And they just keep reoccurring until I face them❤️
LikeLike
They are also adept at shape-shifting. Too many people believe if they rid themselves of job X or person X, they will be happy. Before long, however, they have chosen a person or job that closely resembles the former one. Few examine the repetitive patterns of their lives and why they make the same choices.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I almost married the same man twice in early recovery! My mom said “Danielle…you know that person you just got engaged to is the same man as your husband but just with a different face!”
She was right!
LikeLike
They are indeed great teachers for us Danielle, they push us beyond that ‘safety’ we build around us. It is in that unknown that our answers lay. Great post my friend, may those buttons acknowledge our courage, and the love we find behind them 😀❤️🙏🏽
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes they are buttons of courage – the opportunities to look within ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
“If I run from the fire…I have no chance to learn about it.” Amen!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Tim! 🙏❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
but what if this person said hurtful things. my therapist said this friend is toxic and to stay away. can i still learn by observing her at meetings?
LikeLiked by 1 person
In my experience life keeps presenting us with opportunities for growth. If someone is saying hurtful things towards you…you have the free will and self love to move away from those things. It will all depend on what your heart and intuition will bring you.
I have found that if I have been hurt by another’s words or actions – and this actually just happened to me a few months ago…I need to take the time to heal and love myself back into a place of comfort before I can even observe or give any attention to the others.
When I become stronger and feel comfortable in my own skin again then…and only then can I truly forgive and then move in whatever direction I choose ❤️
Good luck friend…never easy – but full of growth ❤️
LikeLike
My issue isn’t running away–it is reacting and obsessing. The less I do those things, the fewer button pushers I encounter. But of course it is a work in progress!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! I run away and then obsess! It’s getting better though – when we seek we will find ❤️❤️always
LikeLike
There are no magic potions in real-life. Those only exist in the fantasy-world of writers who conjure them up for various mediums. Its fun to read them in books or watch it on tv, play it on video games or apps, view it on the big screen or on web streaming programs (as the younger gen call it). In recovery we are asked to seek outside intervention if it requires it. What we have is not a cure-all, a one-stop shop. I used to have a rage problem. My boss made it clear I had to seek help if I wished to continue working under her supervision and have a job. I did. A cynic I was amazed to discover the coping skills I learned. I dug deep. I got to root causes. Its not for everyone. And it definitely wasn’t Tony Soprano-like (I was a great fan of the late actor James Joseph Gandolfini). This is not an imaginary world where we get sober and all our problems vanish. There’s work to be done, steps to take. I heard a terrifying share by someone with decades of abstinence say she didn’t do any of the steps, she sounded like we didn’t live in the same world. But the benefits of counseling are definitely worth it. It could be for as long as it takes. Not forever. Its different for everyone. I’m not saying I don’t have triggers (that I won’t share about) but it takes alot to get me ramped or amped now. My prayers have more power now, as do my prayer circle of friends who I call on when I need. Be well.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Absolutely my friend. Getting sober was just the beginning of a new life of learning for me.
I was at a friend’s memorial the other day…and I had to laugh at the amount of people still trying to control everything- this person was passed into a different realm and one lady could not stop complaining about the need for me chairs in the room….if not at death…when will we let go!❤️❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
To see how controlling someone is put them around a pet. I was adopted by my ex’s black golden retriever. a strange mix but it is what it is. The dog and I had a tumultuous relationship at the beginning. I was told she didn’t make human connections easily. Yet we worked on it everyday. She loved freeasy’s at the dinner table. We told everyone not to let her do it. But she was so darned cute at it. The walks. OMG! NYC has every kind of smell on earth. And at summertime the smells percolate. She had to stop and sniff everywhere. I had to let her. It was her walk not mine. And she had to visit her friends on the street. It took up more time. She tested every nerve I had. But then I’d watch her out in the open like the trips we made to the Appalachian trails. That was amazing. You could see it in the way she walked, jumped. It was almost like she was smiling the whole time. I watch pet owners now and in my opinion use their dogs as accessories. As status symbols. The dogs are suspended in the air on their leashes. They put muzzles on them (I understand its for their safety as well as the safety of people). I have to quit and let it all go. As we are taught I can’t take their inventories. That is weight to carry around that I don’t need. Its easier to cohabitate in symbiosis on this earth and finds ways to live and let live. Be well.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Perfect example my friend. We all learn when we learn❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wish I read this years ago. My father was that fire to me. We rarely saw eye to eye but since he passed I realize he was the most influential person in my life. I should have embraced his fire more and worked with it instead of getting defensive and angry with him. Thanks for this post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Andi – thank you for sharing this. I too have very tumultuous relationship with my dad. And I am constantly working on that forgiveness and peace within. But he is definitely here to teach me and like your dad he is one of the most influential people in my experience.
If you can look up this video on YouTube it has helped me immensely. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gadBLjTAiRw
It has me looking at those people in a whole new light…the ones that create that fire within – are actually quite special ♥️ Your dad is in peace now and he loves his little girl and is very happy with who you have become ❤️trust that
LikeLiked by 1 person
I watched that beautiful video. I saved it as well. Thank you for sharing this with me. ♥️
LikeLike
Sounds familiar. 😉 My son particularly fires me up regularly… I wish I could get the lesson! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right!! It’s tough when the only lesson you see is fire burning!! 😂😂❤️ we were taught to put it out!
LikeLiked by 1 person
IKR? 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great wisdom you found there. And I hear ya. Also, I love cheetahs. My husband walked into the room, saw the pic, and said, “Hey, that looks like little Joe climbing on you!” Ha! Clearly, you chose your post picture wisely. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yessss!! The little ones love to climb all over us❤️The cheetahs moms face is priceless! 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s like she’s looking at the cameraman and thinking, “At least YOU’RE amused by this.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
♥️
LikeLike
Sitting in the fire helps you learn a lot about you. Great post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you my friend…it’s not fun but it’s fruitful ! ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person