Secrets 3/9

Last night my son Tyler who is 20 years old told me some things that his mind has been telling him.

These are unpleasant thoughts and he has been struggling with them for about a week.

He was relieved when I told him “you don’t have to believe every thought that you think.”

But his mind has been relentless as they sometimes are and his thoughts frighten him and he is having trouble understanding them.

I have to remember that I did not understand my own mind until I was about 37 years old. I entered into recovery at 35 but couldn’t really understand things for at least 2 years.

So when I went to bed last night the phrase I have heard many times came into my mind: “Secrets keep you sick.”

Tyler is not keeping these thoughts secret. He’s telling me.

I got out of bed and told him this very thing. I explained that if he was really sick than he wouldn’t have the courage and the fortitude to tell on his brain.

I also told him that he has my permission to tell those thoughts “Thanks for sharing -now F**ck off and go away.”

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

25 thoughts on “Secrets 3/9

  1. Secrets do indeed keep you sick…except the good secrets of what present for a birthday or Christmas you will surprise someone with. If a secret worries you or upsets you, ask someone why, share it with love and it will answer with love. Even if it takes a little while to understand, that is so you can find the love within it. Take a bow Tyler, the courage to share it is also love itself 😀❤️🙏🏽

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Danielle, this is an amazing post. I’d like to share it if possible. It certainly is something I needed to hear today as I struggle to understand and offer help to someone I love.

    These two quotes are powerful. “you don’t have to believe every thought that you think.” And “secrets make you sick.”

    You are an awesome mom. I really mean that. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Awesome. As a man/woman thinks so he/she is. When the thoughts form, they manifest outside and get us into action. Happy to connect more and share experiences


  4. The biggest lesson I aim to teach my kids: we are not our thoughts! Challenges are guaranteed and how we choose to react (or not to) truly determines our path. Parenthood itself is a challenge and your immense compassion here certainly shines through!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The inner talk can be so distressing especially during the young adult years. As you said, it is amazing that he is externalizing them – and also trusts you enough to share them with you. That is fantastic. Good luck to him and you as he works through these feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ❤ This! Especially what one can 'tell' their own brain! Your post reminded me of two things – one from some 'csi/detective' tv drama that I don't even remember the name of, where one of the characters said, "Secrets are not good – when we keep them, we end up hurting ourselves/those we care about" – AND I remember my oldest son being very quiet/mopey/not his usual self – – I asked – waited – asked again, and finally, said, "Nope – we are sitting here until you tell me what's got ya down, okay? It cannot be so bad that we can't figure it out, right?" – – and he burst into tears and said, "I'm so sorry mom, I'm going to die – and I'm sorry – I have testicular cancer…." – – ????? Me? "Um, why do you believe so?" (blubber!) "I looked up all my systems on WebMd, I'm gonna die and you are sick and who's gonna look after (my younger brother….) and…."

    To my shame, now, I burst out laughing, then stopped myself and said, "I'm not laughing at you – I'm laughing over it not even being as close to my worst worries for you – and me, so, tell me what's going on…."

    Um, yeah – lower back out of place – one chiro visit and life was once more 'doable' and not so scary – – but – first – the secret thoughts/worries had to be brought into the light of day – – 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. On the ‘flip side of possibilities’ – maybe we know what is our weakest point and we learn to do battle withour selves, before we need go onto the battlefield of life?? for others??? I dunno – but this is one of the thinks, I think when I know, durn well – I’m only battling myself and need to find some ‘higher meaning/purpose’ in it all – sigh – thanks for listening –

        Liked by 1 person

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