The gift of a shift 3/18

I realized a few things from yesterdays post Last night 3/17 .

I have spoken at a detox enough times that I should be used to it.

But as I explained in my post yesterday…what surprised me was my emotion and sadness when the 50-60 addicts left the room…and I cried.

I realized today why I felt this way. I was not focused on ME. I was focused on them.

In the past I have been worried how I might of sounded, or relieved that it was over and I could go home…to my safe haven where nobody is staring at me.

But this last time…I forgot about me…and wanted to chase after them.

This is growth. I’m connecting outside of me – through me and gods will.

I have learned in my recovery that self centered fear is what drives the addict to use.

I was not fearful and I was not self centered that night. It was the opposite.

This is a nice shift.