Chauvinism 3/20

Yup…I encountered some good old fashioned male chauvinism…and it took me by surprise.

The man is not that old but yet must not be evolving. There were comments that made me terribly uncomfortable…and it was perfectly ok for him. There was the “Men are from mars” – mentality.

I was degraded or spoken down to because I am an emotional being. Which in this persons mind is only a “female” trait and they said those very words.

Gods funny…I needed this very encounter to sting me so I could remember my childhood.

I grew up in a male dominated household. Two older brothers and a military dad. The boys had roles and my mother and myself had different ones.

However the spirit inside me fought for my joy and said NO! I want to wear pants, climb trees, use tools…run, get dirty…be anything but a LADY! HA! My poor mother!

I fought to be free back then…not to be put in certain clothes or treated a certain way because I was a girl.

I do not have to fight today…I can just be me and hope others find the same freedom.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

25 thoughts on “Chauvinism 3/20

  1. I have not run across that word “chauvinism” in a long time. He’s the one with the problem. Everyone of my three boys are masculine yet have very sensitive sides and are quite in touch with feelings and emotions. They are not afraid to show tears. And they do. 🙂

    When you mentioned the word tool, I remember how excited I was when I received a fencing tool for Christmas almost 30 years ago. We lived on a little 5 acre farm. I wanted a fencing tool so bad. My now-ex got me one. As soon as the weather by broke, I took down, by myself, all the old fencing around half our property. I converted that area to a huge beautiful side yard. It was a difficult job but I was in heaven. I loved working outdoors.

    My now-ex had definite expectations for me as a woman though. That got worse as the years progressed. He eventually wanted the girls and I to wear dresses only. I refused to “obey”. He, too, would belittle me when I cried. But as long as I did his “manly” work too, along with all of “mine”, he was fine. Life isn’t always easy. It’s truly not. But, hopefully, the hard shapes us into better, more compassionate, people.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It’s funny Andi (please never apologize for leaving a long comment – your thoughts are safe and welcomed here always ♥️)
      What’s funny is that I have not encountered such thinking in so long I think I forgot it existed….but I was shown for a reason. When you said fencing – I at first thought you meant sword fighting!!😂❤️

      Liked by 3 people

  2. As the front page reminds us, the attempt of males to control the rights and speech of others has never ended. Sometimes the Bible is used to justify such actions, as it was in the Civil War. A shame then and now.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I hope you find a way to read the news from a reliable source, Danielle. If those good hearted souls such as you fail to inform yourselves, those who are less well intended will take the rights you cherish, as well as those of the people you love.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Your ‘Tom Boy’ post brought a smile to my ole mug Danielle. Thanks.

    It synced somewhat with what I read this morning in Brennan Manning’s book ‘A Glimpse of Jesus’ . . .

    “When we accept ourselves for what we are, we cease to hunger for power or the acceptance of others because our self-intimacy reinforces our sense of security. We are no longer preoccupied with being powerful or popular.We no longer fear criticism or contradiction because we accept the reality of human limitations: integrated we are no longer plagued with the desire to please others because simply being true to ourselves beings lasting inner peace.”

    Brennan’s byline is one that frees me from the imposter image that seeks the approval of others and to control me . . .

    “God loves you just the way you are, not as you should be.”

    Be blessed Danielle!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m an outdoor person. I climbed trees, dug dirt, caught spiders and snakes to observe then set free as a kid. (Still do, though I now capture fish and release in conjunction with river quality studies.) Nature taught lessons not based on skewed society viewpoints. In the “traditional male domain”, I’ve been talked over, ignored, and treated with all manner of rudeness (surprisingly sometimes from women too). I’ve also been treated as an equal person in many instances.

    I was lucky to have a Dad whose Mom taught all her boys to cook and do household chores. Dad took me to the forest without regard to my gender. Though some society gender traits lingered, Dad was mostly enlightened. I developed a life more in the way Fred D. described. Just today in a phone conversation with my sister, she paid me the highest compliment. She said, “You always danced to the beat of your own drummer.” A person’s problem is their own. Don’t make it yours. Be strong all, and dance to your own beat.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely Jackie! I loved Fred’s quote as well. And the more I learn about me – the more I learn to become really ok with me. And even ok with this person that thinks the way they think. There’s an ass for every seat! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. My daughter had an encounter recently with someone in her workplace who treated her with chauvanistic disrespect. She called him into her office and gave him a proper dressing down and reminded him she was the person who saw to it that he received his paychecks! And he was just a middle aged man who could be replaced. So he gave her a profuse apology!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sounds like a sexist know-it-all jerk with no manners. The best and most important life lessons I learned about being a grown-up man came from the women in my life. My former supervisor who I am so grateful to not only call a mentor but a great friend gave me chance after chance to change. I’m so grateful she never gave up on me. I was awarded the Alice Bigpond Roach Memorial Award, a national award for outstanding community to the Native American community, in New York City where I live. It was named after a ‘classy lady’. One of the greatest honors of my life. Gratefully he is the exception and not the norm. Be well.

    Liked by 1 person

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