A perfect day 10/2

Today I woke up happy. A few months ago I had been waking up with my fists clenched. So today I really noticed the difference. I woke up comfortable and happy. I had the best day planned! It was going to rain all day and I was going to do nothing but put up my

A recovery prayer 10/1

“God take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live.” I remember hearing this prayer said many times at recovery meetings. But one fine day it hit me in a whole new light. I believe that is why they say “keep coming” or “more will be revealed.” My

Permission to cry 9/30

When I am writing a lot of times tears come. Words come too…sometimes foggy with tears. I remember the first time someone gave me permission to cry. It was 12 years ago, I was 35 years old and I was in rehab. I was starting to feel. One of the staff members noticed me just

As a child 9/29

Growing up I had two older brothers; Roy and Jason. This one is hard for me to write about. Roy was always a bit kinder to me than Jason was. He was the oldest and he also had a different dad so he would be away a lot of the time. Jason and I are

Check yourself Danielle 9/28

The other day I found myself reverting back to some old behaviors. When I say old behavior I relate them to the way my disease – the disease of addiction – can and will tempt or talk me into some type of destructive thoughts or even actions. There are a variety of ways my mind

Free from what? 9/27

I know when I feel MOST free and it’s usually in nature. I see lots of space and I understand the abundance that this planet provides. The trees, the birds, chipmunks, deer…rivers, plants…etc. I think for me my desire is to be free from need and worry. I will always need food and shelter and

I am in LOVE 9/26

As I seek more and more to understand the concept of unconditional love…I have been provided with an incredible teacher. After the heart breaking passing of our cat Pickles, my son found this little girl named Eve online. She was rescued from Miami Florida and sent to us. I said to my friend Kay yesterday

Captain Chooch 9/25

On Friday 9/23 I was blessed to see one of my dearest friends Roberta receive her medallion for 3 years of sobriety! We call each other Chooch. We do this knowing that it means “donkey” or “meathead” in Italian. We are very able to laugh at ourselves and I think it is one of the

After I acted Selfishly 9/24

On my way home after I acted selfishly 9/23 I was supposed to meet my friend Bootsie at a recovery meeting. It had been a tentative plan since the weekend and now I really needed one. All I wanted to do was sit my sorry ass in a meeting and listen. “We plan … god laughs.”

I acted selfishly 9/23

The parents of the boys that I nanny for asked if I could bring them to get haircuts. My mom cuts their hair. She was once a hair dresser and has a little shop in her home. She is known as “Haircut Nana”. It is usually a good time. The boys love her and she