The cast of characters that I have met over the years in recovery is incredible.
While I was in rehab they said “as soon as you get out of here go to a recovery meeting and go EVERYDAY”. So because I wanted to live, that is what I did. I was FULL of judgement, fear and major insecurities. When I was in the rehab I was in a nice comfortable bubble with all my new found friends, yoga classes and a van that magically took us to the meetings. We called that van the “druggy buggy”.
But then they turned me loose. I showed up for meetings as instructed, and I even raised my hand and introduced myself as new -also as instructed. I won’t lie – it sucked, but again I was saving my life. The people at the meetings said “keep coming”, “more will be revealed” and “even if you don’t believe we believe”. HUH???
Honestly, it was so painfully uncomfortable and all I wanted to do was to feel better. I was afraid to get up and go the bathroom, the walk was to long and I was sure everyone was watching me. They had people read readings and passages from books and I hated to read out loud. My hands would shake and my voice would tremble.
There were all walks of life at these meetings. They say from “Yale to jail” and nothing could be more true. Everyone was welcome, even if they were high they were welcomed. I judged so many people back during those times. My closest friends in recovery today are people god put there, not me.
I remember being at one of my first meetings and this man would not sit still. He was over friendly, silly and when he spoke he sounded like someone stuck in the 70’s -saying things like “buck wild” and “feeling the vibes”. I surely concluded this man was high and I was not going anywhere near him.
About a week later I was at a recovery convention. That same man that I thought was high was a guest speaker!! He had 20 years clean. He ended up becoming one of my greatest confidants in recovery. He is always there and he puts recovery first in his life.
I have been blessed over the years to get to know some fantastic people. People come and go in recovery, its hard but its true. Sometimes we know what happens to them and sometimes we don’t. I am grateful for the consistent companions that I have in recovery today. These are the people who “stick and stay”. They go to meetings to help others and themselves to get one more day clean.
Nobody said it was going to be easy…but IT IS COMPLETELY WORTH IT!!