A woman named Gina was sharing on a recovery zoom meeting last night. Her face was blocked out but you could hear her crying. She was 6 months sober but she did something that she was ashamed of. Gina reached out to her dealer….just to say hi.
Well, we know that it was the prelude of other encounters to come. It was a set up. The disease in her mind told her it was ok to just say “hi” to the dealer. At least she was telling on herself at the meeting. She has a chance to shed some light on the dark, cunning disease.
What I heard her say during her share was that she had only been talking to one other person in recovery that was clean. Her network was very small. Non existent really. She said she had other recovering women’s phone numbers but she never used them and now it was very uncomfortable to call.
I could not be clean today without the other recovering addicts in my life. When you are new in recovery (say 6 months like Gina) you think that your ass will never be on fire….until it is.
As I was taught “You cannot save your face and your ass at the same time.”
I had to make those uncomfortable phone calls. I had to ask for help. I still do to this day and I will until I am floating around as an angel in the sky.
I think gods grace showed me how to level my pride. To become vulnerable and to allow others to work their magic in my life. Which in turn also helps them.