I almost gave up 5/24

This morning I am reflecting and revisiting the past of my active addiction.

I was looking at the photos where my face is all sorts of busted up. More importantly is the blank empty stare that is behind my eyes. (Please see previous post Then and Now for the photos.)

As I was looking I said to myself “holy shit I almost gave up.”

But then I realized….I did give up and that is how I started to become well.

When my self will, my ego, my person, my identity… the outer shell that was created and conditioned to be what it became….gave up…gave it all up….I got well.

I gave it all up and what happened – my soul, my spirit, a power greater than my mind was able to guide me along. One step, one day at a time.

There was definitely one big point of surrender. However, what keeps me in the grace of god is the daily seeking and surrendering.

Knowing that when I am in angst, or anger (fear) that to let it go and give it up is the best way to get well.

It’s giving my mind and all of it’s fancy ideas a rest and allowing the most beautiful source of energy in.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

10 thoughts on “I almost gave up 5/24

  1. Very proud of you, dear friend. Keep shining, smiling and inspiring others how to overcome the problems in their lives. Take care. 😊😊🌹🌹🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love reading your blog. Today’s post reminded me that I’ve given up a bunch of times & gotten up a bunch of times & gotten back going a bunch of times. It’s great to wake up in sobriety this morning. Thanks for letting me share.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are my new fan. Thank you for added me. I am not better than you all also are you all are not better than us all..Good News: We all stick each other as true loyal fully wonderful team like family. Keep up daily. PS I love your beautiful dog photo very stinking adorable lol πŸ˜‚β€οΈπŸ€ŸπŸ™

    Liked by 1 person

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