I am not high today – I am tired 1/4

Today I woke up tired.

My body and my mind are just plain old tired.

Typically I would try to fight this feeling. Believing that I need to have some crazy exuberant zest for life every minute of the day.

I used drugs and alcohol for that very reason. I could not accept the different states of my human being.

When I was to hyper I took something to calm me. When I needed to get things done I took things to increase my energy times a thousand.

Today I am tired, and it is ok. I am actually going to try and enjoy the calm that’s in my system. I am not going to judge myself and say – you should feel a different way today Danielle.

Accepting me…tired me, just for today.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

19 thoughts on “I am not high today – I am tired 1/4

      1. Yes, it is almost a shock when we finally see it because of that. It’s like you always knew it, something opens to join all the dots…and in that one thing you are suddenly, totally free 😂 🤣 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I swear it’s the Wizard of Oz movie – Dorothy finally gets it that she had the power ALL ALONG and the scarecrow says to to Glenda the good witch – “Why didn’t you just tell her” and Glenda says because she had to find it for herself ❤️🌈💜

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      3. Otherwise it isn’t truly appreciated. If we are given something it is appreciated but not the same as when we give ourselves something, have to work for something, achieve something…and in putting in that effort, we experience it truly, and finally understand it. Those very things give us an understanding of ‘our’ love, it is being created by doing those very things, through every trip and stumble AND finally seeing their worth ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  1. I can relate. I would take ephedrine for years to speed up. I have even overtaken ginseng. Mine was not so much when I was tired as when I was bored or depressed (mostly when depressed– which was most days). I would drink to calm down the buzzing of speeding too much. I would drink to lighten up when too serious and pressured in my head.
    It is hard somedays to sit with the depression or the seriousness. But sit I must.

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    1. Yes!! Even after a bit of time of me NOT taking anything (11yrs now) I still need to remind myself not to fight or resist whatever state I am in – because it just sticks around longer!🤷🏻‍♀️😬 thank you for sharing your experiences💜much appreciated


  2. Oh, yes, this rings true for me as well. Giving ourselves permission to ‘be’ whatever is coming up isn’t what the ego generally wants. This weekend I felt so tired and I realized I just needed a couple days to recharge after the holidays. Giving ourselves permission to rest shouldn’t be a struggle, but a given!

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  3. Speaking for myself I found that as I got over some of my more personal issues, more interpersonal ones began to affect me more noticeably. Even at a distance. Vibes can bring us up or down. I think this is just the way it is. Hence the need for spirituality to carry us through… and upward. 🙂

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  4. Such powerful words 👏 I use CBD to just to get me going and when I’m tired, there’s always seroquel by my bedside too give me rest but its only for a little while. If only I could get at least 7hrs of rest😕my day’s would be more brighter. Well Done Friend 😉😇

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