Connection Kills Addiction

I was listening to a man named Michael from Tampa, Florida share during a recovery meeting on the topic of isolation. He stated that “connection kills addiction.”

I thought about it and I could not agree more.

When I was in active addiction I was ALONE. I was isolated beyond belief. Not just physically but mentally as well.

Towards the end of my using I could be found daily all the way down in the unfinished side of my basement. Me, the washer and dryer, my cigarettes, cocktail and whatever flavor pill was available that day. Isolation at its finest.

Mentally…forget it. This disease told me regularly that I could not tell on myself. That I could NEVER share the horrors that I was living. The secrets, the lies – nobody on this planet EVER experienced.

Or so I thought….

Until I heard the first brave soul share at the rehab I was in. And then the next brave soul stated that they did the same shameful things that I did. Then another one… I was surrounded by people communicating and outing this sickness.

It literally only takes one. One brave person to tell the truth of what they went through and how they made it out alive to save another addict.

Gods grace gives one addict the courage to share their experience and gods grace gives the other addict the ability to hear it.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

34 thoughts on “Connection Kills Addiction

  1. Connection absolutely kills addiction. But the opposite is also unfortunately true. Isolation and loneliness fuels it. Which is where I find myself right now. Trying to fight those feelings with anything but alcohol..and failing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Alana, it’s amazing that you have the awareness of it. That is more than most have. Your not alone & there is a way out. The path of the addict/alcoholic is one that leads to a beautiful freedom when it’s time❤️stay strong you are perfect as you are 💜❤️💜

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  2. I applaud you for sharing your lived experience. I recently obtained a position as a facilitator for a connections recovery group through NAMI and I’m always inspired when I hear their stories. I wish you the best during your journey ❣️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Excellent!! You will change people’s lives ❤️💜❤️I still remember the counselors that helped me over 11 years ago – they came in with open hearts and ears to listen and just love us back to life ❤️💜❤️thank you for your service!

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  3. One of my friends just died of advanced alcoholism. He was just a few years older than I am. The last time I saw him, I knew he was drunk but he was drinking coke, to fool the rest of his friends. We were all at a bar, to see the Bills playing I can’t remember who … it was in the beginning of the season. When he went into the hospital, my one GF said, I thought he quit drinking! I told her that he was drunk that last time I saw him at Murray’s … & she said, but he had quit drinking. She hasn’t spent years in AA like I have. I knew he hadn’t quit … I knew all the signs.

    I remember when Bert told me that the doctor told me that he had to quit drinking … it was four years ago. We were sitting together at the bar & he was drinking a draft beer. I told him I would go to AA with him, cuz I knew how hard it was to walk into those rooms all by yourself. But he said no … he could quit on his own. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He got worse & worse … even when he wasn’t drinking, he was a mess.

    The last few years, it’s been like a roll call of the dead for me … all the friends of mine who have died from this disease. Or who are actively dying.

    I wanna say, I’m done, I’m through, but I know it’s just one day at a time, it’s a daily reprieve, & today is all I have. But I swear … I’m not going down that fucking road with the rest of them. I’m just not doing it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes Utuhan, your journey is much more isolating that others…but…in all that I have found, those harder journey’s bring an awareness much greater than most too. Hard, yes…but when accepting of ‘you’ through such a difficult journey, the greater the love is found. Have courage and believe in you, when you finally see and understand the pain you have challenged, you will know it was all worth while, a profound and deep love and happiness you have ever looked for, waiting to be found in that belief 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If you are drinking because of the pain…then that is belief. If you truly didn’t care or believe, you would not need to drink as it wouldn’t matter. You have a heart that is calling out, that is the way it is designed. It just wants to be loved and at first we don’t know how so all we experience is pain. But slowly we see that it isn’t about how others treat us, as we are all judged, measured and thrown on that scrap heap…but in understanding that they too have fears and are only reacting from them. Do you really worry about others, as in constantly pointing your finger at them accusing them of this or that. No. Because we are all constantly worried about us and how we are perceived by others. It matters not if you have autism, a lisp, a huge mole on your nose, smelly armpits or a million other things. It always comes back to us believing in ourselves and understanding it is only our fears that hold us back. Those things that were passed onto us in our upbringing. We were taught by those we love and look up to that there must be something wrong with us because in some way or another we feel we are being rejected by them, giving us a belief that there must be something wrong with us. It does not matter what we feel is the reason, we all feel that rejection and it has great purpose. It is asking us to find that love and happiness ‘through’ that pain. It is only when we go through something, endure a great hardship that we do appreciate what we have achieved by doing so.
        I’ll give you an example, and this can be applied to everything…if I give you $100 a week to spend on whatever you want…you will spend it on whatever you want because you know it will always be there. But if you have a job and have to work hard for it,…you stop and think about what you are buying, simply because you have worked hard for that money so you want it to have worth equivalent to what you have put into it. Your life is the same, we struggle and struggle to find that worth, not realizing it isn’t some place ‘out there’ but our worth is in believing in ourselves, understanding that those feelings of rejection are a lie, they were unintentionally taught to us by our parents simply because they hadn’t resolved their fears. And we unintentionally pass those fears onto our children because we haven’t resolved our worth. When we finally see that our inner pain is built on that lie we finally begin to see that it isn’t us at all that has anything wrong, it is just a false belief that was drummed into us as we grew up and then took into all our relationships. But…it all has great purpose…all of it is showing you one side so that you can understand the other. You cannot truly understand and appreciate happiness unless you experience sadness too. Then you will appreciate the happiness more because you know what sadness is. And it is the same for all emotions. And the greatest of them all is those conditions of our fears we place on ourselves so that when we release them as we understand they are false, we will finally see and understand what unconditional love is…and finally be freee…of it all ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  4. I can only imagine how distressing it was feeling lonely in the most bitter way. But thank God there were brave victors whose stories of victory inspired you and resonated with your situation. I’m glad you came out a new being, with a new story to tell. 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes thank you! It’s been quite the journey and I have experienced quite a bit in active addiction and in sobriety – 2 different worlds. But both brought me to gods Grace 💜❤️💜🌈 thank you for your kind words and encouragement!

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  5. I am really inspired by your posts. You have done a wonderful, commendable job by sharing your experience. It takes a lot of courage and determination to admit being an addict and to take steps to get freedom from the substance. God is really with you. You are amazing. Keep up the good work.

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