“Fine I’ll just do it Myself” 5/9

God I am stubborn. I sincerely have to laugh at my most recent behavior. I can laugh because I have the understanding of “why” I was acting crazy and I have apologized to the other poor soul who was involved.

The other day when I got the news that Pickles my cat has cancer, I was definitely zapped into a state of fear. As I was driving home from the vet with the cat in the box meowing I called a very close person to me.

I was very emotional and I thought I was going to take the cat to go pick up the medication that he needed (it was at a different place than the vet). This person calmly said “just get yourself and the kitty home, get settled and I will take you to get the medication.

Very kind indeed and good advice. I was able to get the cat home, fed and comfy and have a shower for myself. I asked my friend to come get me around 4pm and then I changed it to 4:30pm and he was very nice and said no problem.

But then I wanted to change it back to 4pm and he didn’t respond. I texted a few times and then my head started being an asshole. I started thinking he wasn’t coming at all and he was asleep or doing something way more important.

I am hysterically laughing as I am writing this because…I am absurd! ha ha

So finally at 4:31pm I walk outside and I don’t see him. I text him one last time stating “I don’t know what happened to you but I’m going myself to get Pickles medication. Thanks anyway.”

He texts back and says “I’m here.”

I almost did not get into the car with him I was so mad. I knew I was being absolutely ridiculous but I did not even care. My cat needed his meds and I needed help…(vulnerable) and if I could not get it the minute I wanted it from another than “Fine I’ll just do it myself!”

Thank goodness this individual has a heart of gold and a good understanding of my craziness. We drove together to get the meds. He told me afterwards once I calmed down and we could have a good laugh…. that he thought at one point I might jump out of the truck.

Oh my..being human is quite funny. Thank god I am learning to accept who I am and the others that love me can do the same.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

18 thoughts on ““Fine I’ll just do it Myself” 5/9

  1. Ahhh… Pickles!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏 prayers his meds work and he beats cancer… when my cat got sick I reacted similarly… stress and worry got the best of me. We’re just human and at the end of the day. I’m glad your friend understood that and was patient with you at such a vulnerable time! Give Pickles a cheek scratch from a “fan” of Mommys blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes thank you Tamara!! It’s not easy when one our loves is sick 😷 ❤️ understanding and patience are gifts during this time ❤️Pickles is good again today sooo – thank you so much for your kindness 🌈

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, I’m so sorry about Pickles. Your story is so real and reminds me that when we face situations like Pickles having cancer, it sometimes feels so comforting to try to control everything else. Like we can gain ground. I love that you ended up laughing about it with your friend – and am so grateful you shared the story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!!❤️💜❤️yes I have learned that telling my truth and laughing at myself gives me freedom. You are absolutely right – I have been trying to control all sorts of things since the news…it’s nice to become aware of it and you just helped me with another piece❤️much love to you

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have been in the place of feeling helpless with the furry kids, death warrant, and the frustration that makes you angry at everyone. I wish you the best. It’s good, healing, to find humor in yourself.


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