Crap stew 5/21

This week was one of those unbelievable shit storms. Or as I referred to it to my fellow blogger friend Wynne “I was smack dab in the middle of the crap stew.

My sons mental health is a priority and we are working together to get him where he needs to be.

But that process was generating some fear and frustration. An immense amount of phone calls and energy to get help…and because he is an adult the people at the facility won’t talk to me.

However, Tyler’s therapist has helped tremendously. She understands the need for me to advocate for him and we worked together to get the paperwork into the right place.

Then on the job front (I am a nanny) I had something lined up with a new family to begin mid-June. The mom called me and said that her daughter is not well and she needs to take time off from work…therefore I am not needed.

I have already told my current family I am leaving and they were not happy.

I still want to do part time with my current family…but not 5 days of summer.

Oh yeah – and every time I would stress -my back would zap me. Not allowing me to think worrisome thoughts! HA! And I had a sun blister or cold sore of some sort bleeding on my bottom lip all week long just to make matters more uncomfortable.

So the mess is real…it’s noisy…full of fear of the unknown…but I am honestly ok.

God has a plan -yes- but I really just want to know what the hell it is.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

47 thoughts on “Crap stew 5/21

  1. I just prayed for you. Btw, you inspired me so much that in my recovery, I have started mentoring a new friend who is struggling in recovery. And I know that you know this but wanted to remind you that the struggle is a blessing over running numb and still struggling but not know it. God and you have this. 😃❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Tonya! And that is amazing to hear about you sharing your experience with another in recovery ❤️🙏❤️this is how we keep what we have – we give it away!❤️❤️that’s such great news and yes the struggle is a blessing – sometimes felt after it’s all said and done – lol 😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. A journey to be shared. Every journey is better with company and the blessed bless others if they are truly thankful. This is my view. But you rock and inspire me so much. You have a great heart. 😃❤️


  2. Deep waters here too, but I know I’m doing what I need to do – pray and keep going, one step I can take after another – so everything will be okay. A Higher Power is leading us through. Sending prayers for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think sometimes we may have to accept that we never really learn what God’s plan is for us…
    It’s where trust and faith come in but boy that is so hard at times. Don’t forget your squirrel medicine. Think it’s time to add more play into your life so you balance out with joy? Good luck with the job hunting…..VK ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh and it’s funny you mentioned the squirrel medicine….an hour after the whole encounter with the hawk and squirrels is when the lady from the “new” job called and backed out. I think it might have symbolized me being saved somehow….❤️🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  4. A difficult moment, Danielle. It sometimes helps to recall earlier challenges and how you got through them. The same qualities in you that enabled your previous overcomings are there. I am betting on you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your awesome Dr Stein. It’s no coincidence that my sober date of 13 years is 2 days away. It forces me to look at where I was – and it was messy. I am posting a picture of me from back then…and it’s rough. So yes…good to remember what I have already miraculously come through 🙏❤️❤️❤️

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  5. Oh wow, Danielle, I know how it feels too…to feel as though you are drowning. I am praying for you. That God might highlight a path for you. I will pray for Tyler as well. Hugs. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh no! That really is a crap stew, Danielle. I can relate so well to wanting to know what the plan is because the tenuous part crossing the threshold is hard. I hope your back and lip get well soon and the plan is revealed. Thanks for the shout out!

    Liked by 1 person

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