Trying to hard 1/30

There have been many situations in my life where I was trying to “make” something work.

Before entering into recovery I tried to make daily substance abuse fit into my life.

But time and time again I was shown that this was a disastrous path to keep embarking on. A moment of clarity and love set me free of all of that. A painful moment…but it did what it was supposed to…it allowed gods grace to guide me to change.

Then learning as a a sober individual to trust god – the universe – my own intuition – my feelings – other people – has been quite the process.

I have tried to make things work in my life that simply did not fit. But I kept trying anyways…using self will power and some grit. Sucking it up…staying tough…not giving up.

I have stayed in relationships, jobs, homes…far to long when the universe was showing me signs it is time to move.

I guess I am learning to choose my battles. Staying clean was absolutely worth fighting for…even when I wanted to use I did not.

When to say “that’s enough” today is very personal and comes from within.

I can trust gods grace today to show me when it’s time to pick a new path.

Published by gracefuladdict

I am a true addict living my life one day at a time in recovery. I have been substance free -meaning NO drugs or alcohol since 5/23/10. My intention is to share my experiences daily in the hopes to free others from the fears of being who they truly are. My wish is to bravely tell my truth so others can tell theirs as well. I want to be free of self hatred and doubt. I want to live a life of joy, kindness, love and grace. Thank you!

13 thoughts on “Trying to hard 1/30

  1. I’ve often wondered if it’s part of the disease by staying in places too long, especially jobs and relationships. Like, I believed I could fix them if I just hung in there. Lol Grateful to God and for sober intuition today. I couldn’t even fix myself, so not sure why I thought I could fix everything else.

    Liked by 1 person

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