Trying to hard 1/30

There have been many situations in my life where I was trying to “make” something work.

Before entering into recovery I tried to make daily substance abuse fit into my life.

But time and time again I was shown that this was a disastrous path to keep embarking on. A moment of clarity and love set me free of all of that. A painful moment…but it did what it was supposed to…it allowed gods grace to guide me to change.

Then learning as a a sober individual to trust god – the universe – my own intuition – my feelings – other people – has been quite the process.

I have tried to make things work in my life that simply did not fit. But I kept trying anyways…using self will power and some grit. Sucking it up…staying tough…not giving up.

I have stayed in relationships, jobs, homes…far to long when the universe was showing me signs it is time to move.

I guess I am learning to choose my battles. Staying clean was absolutely worth fighting for…even when I wanted to use I did not.

When to say “that’s enough” today is very personal and comes from within.

I can trust gods grace today to show me when it’s time to pick a new path.